LIST OF POSSIBLE AFFIRMATIONS FOR SELF ACCEPTANCE

LIST OF POSSIBLE AFFIRMATIONS FOR SELF ACCEPTANCE

LIST OF POSSIBLE AFFIRMATIONS FOR SELF ACCEPTANCE

1. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of others’ opinions or behavior.

2. My self worth is totally independent of how I compare to others.

3. My self worth is totally independent of any external factors such as: INTELLIGENCE, WEALTH, MY HOME, APPEARANCE, TALENTS, PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS, MY CHILDRENS’ SUCCESS, BEING ATTRACTIVE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX, MAKING FRIENDS, DISCIPLINES, “SPIRITUAL” ACTIVITIES.

4. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of the results of my efforts.

5. I am worthy and will be loved even when others are being given more attention. I am happy for others when they receive love and attention.

6. My self worth is within me and totally independent of whether I am loved exclusively by someone on or not.

7. I am worthy of love and respect even when I am not perfect in what I do and even when I make mistakes.

8. My self worth is totally independent of how much I accomplish.

9. I am worthy of love and respect even when I feel weak or needy.

10. My self worth is totally independent of whether others agree with me or satisfied with me.

11. I deserve love and respect even when I need to say “no” and not respond to what I am asked to do.

12. My self worth has nothing to do with how much I give or receive.

13. My self worth is totally independent as to whether some people trust me or open up to me on not.

14. My self worth is totally independent of how people behave towards me.

15. My self worth is totally independent of how much others work or how they work or what they believe about me.

16. My self worth is a reflection of my divine nature and not my gender, religion, social class etc. .

17. My self worth is totally independent of whether others recognize it or how they feel towards me.

18. I accept and love my self as I am with my faults and weaknesses as I steadily and methodically evolve out of them.

19. I am intelligent and capable enough to succeed in any endeavor which is important to me.

20. I deserve to be loved and respected exactly as I am ( at this stage of my evolutionary process).
21. I have the inner power and strength to deal with whatever life brings me.

22. I am capable of handling any possible difficulties which might occur.

23. I am beautiful exactly as I am – just as all aspects of nature.

24. I am a good person, a worthy person.

25. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of how others behave towards me.

26. I respect and love all persons (especially my parents and family) without feeling any need whatsoever to live my life according to their beliefs or values. I live my life in harmony with my inner values and beliefs.

27. I am in no way responsible for others people’s reality but only for my own motives and behavior towards them.

28. No else is responsible for my reality. I am totally responsible for what I feel and experience in life.

29. My self worth is based on my inner being, my existence itself, my inner divine nature and on no other external factors.

30. My self worth is a simple function of the fact that I, as all others creatures, am an unique aspect of divine creation. My self worth cannot be increased nor decreased. I can never be more or less worthy of love and respect than another.

31. Although I am not perfect and have various faults, I deserve to be loved and respected as I am, just I as I love and respect others with their faults.

32. When I do not love my self, I am not loving an aspect of divine creation.

33. I often accept in others traits which I reject in my self. Why?

34. I am in a process of evolution and am attending to that process

35.All beings deserve my love and respect, including my self.

LIST OF POSSIBLE SITUATIONS AND LESSONS

LIST OF POSSIBLE SITUATIONS AND LESSONS

LIST OF POSSIBLE SITUATIONS AND LESSONS – SOME GUIDELINES FOR USING THIS LIST OF SITUATIONS AND LESSONS

This list is designed to help persons searching for the lessons which they may be being asked to learn through various life situations. It is a supplement to the three other lists (of beliefs, of roles and behavior, and of childhood experiences) and is designed to aid in our overall inner search so as to discover the root beliefs of our problems and how to go about changing them.
In this list we are dealing with the most external aspect of this search, the situations which are offered to us from life so that we may discover our inner obstacles and overcome them. In using this list let us keep some points in mind.

a. The lesson which we need to learn is just the external manifestation of deeper beliefs. We will need to find the belief behind the lesson, the belief which we will need to change in order to learn the lesson.

b. A situation listed here may be only remotely similar to something which we may be experiencing. We can make any modifications in the situation and lessons which suit us.

c. Many lessons may not seem to fit at first, but then after time, we realise that we actually need to learn something similar to what is being said. Thus it would be useful for each who has discovered a situation which is similar to his or hers to write down the list of possible lessons and look at them from time to time.

d. One might want to ask family members and friends to look at the list and suggest their possible opinions.

e. The lists are by no means complete. Feel free to add both lessons and keys to freedom to each list. Additions would gladly received by email for inclusion in future texts. Feel free also to send us new situations which you do not find here.

f. It is not sufficient to discover the lesson, we need to go one step further and m make plan as to how we plan to get free and overcome our blockage, fear or problem.

g. Once we find the lesson we want to learn and the belief we want to change, then it will be useful to examine our childhood years to see if we can find any experiences or messages which we received which lead us to believing this belief which we want to change. We can then follow the various procedures for freeing ourselves from childhood experiences

h. Often lessons are repeated but expressed in a slightly different way. This is done because one may not be able to see the lesson with one type of wording but be able to see it with another. Each may choose the wording which suits him or make up his own wording.

i. Remember to use the catalogue of the roles and behavior in relationship to this list as many roles are also ‘situations’.

SITUATIONS AND LESSONS

1. He says “NO”, but goes ahead despite the fact he doesn’t want to.

He grumbles, feels mistreated, bursts out in anger every so often, because of the resentment he allows to collect inside him.

Lessons:
a) To realize that he is free to do what he wants.
b) To become liberated from the thought patterns (thought forms) which make him incapable of saying “no” to what others are asking him to do.
c) To do whatever he does with love and not because of fear or sense of duty.
d) To allow others have the responsibility for their reality.

2. He says “YES” , but does not do what he is asked to do.

Afterwards he feels guilty, becomes defensive, and maybe also aggressive.

Lessons:
a) All the lessons of No.1.
b) To become free from fear of
1) Being controlled by others
2) Making mistakes and failing.

NOTE: We can observe how people who are found in supposedly opposite roles, i.e. Very Responsible and Irresponsible, have many similar convictions and lessons. They simply react differently.

Keys to Freedom
a. I am free to do what I want and believe in.
b. My self worth independent of other’s opinion of me.

3. He Suppresses himself
in order to be “O.K.”

However, the others don’t do the same. He feels mistreated. He feels hurt and has many complaints and criticism for others. They make many mistakes, but he never tells them. Others are not correct, because they treat him unjustly.

Lessons:
a) Life is a mirror and reflects:
1. My fear of criticism.
2. My criticism of others.
3. Some mistake I keep making which I need to overcome, and so I keep coming across it.
4. Guilt or inner conflict for what I do.
5. The thought form that others will criticise me or will not treat me well.

NOTE: These five possibilities may exist in all feelings of injustice.

b) To be more sincere in communicating.
c) To accept others as they are.
d) To become free of some habit that creates conflict with others.
e) To become liberated from the beliefs which create guilt or inner conflict.
f) To become free from the fear of criticism. To feel its usefulness regardless other people’s opinion.
g) To become free from the thought pattern that this is how others will treat me.
h) To have more self-respect. To emit a sense dignity which will invite others’ respect.

Keys to Freedom

a) Life is a mirror.
b) I deserve others’ respect and love others in every situation.
c) I love and accept others as they are, as evolving souls.
d) I communicate openly and sincerely in every situation.

4. I cannot feel well because my loved one is not well.

Lessons:
a) To understand that the other is an independent, eternal soul which creates its own reality exclusively in order to learn the lessons it has come to learn in this phase of its life.
b) To give love and assistance without feeling responsible for the health, happiness or success of others.
c) To believe in a divine plan for my loved one.
d) To perceive the other as an eternal soul instead of as my child, parent, spouse, etc.

Keys to Freedom

a) Each of us is an eternal, evolving soul.
b) I can help, but I cannot create anybody else’s reality.
c) I cannot help anybody with my own unhappiness.

5. I cannot feel well because my loved one does not love me.

He doesn’t do as I tell him. He gives me no attention, tenderness, love. He doesn’t agree with me. He doesn’t approve of me.

Lessons:

a) I am not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.
b) My worth is not valued according to how my loved one sees me.
c) I am safe even if I don’t have my loved one’s approval.
d) Just because my loved one does not do as I say, or doesn’t give me any attention and tenderness, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.
e) I must learn to free myself from the need to seek what I am seeking for from some other.
f) I need to learn to ask for what I need with greater assurance, self respect and certainty.

Keys to Freedom

a) I am worthy, regardless of the opinion of my loved ones.
b) I am secure even when alone.
c) If they don’t do what I ask them to do, it doesn’t mean they don’t love me.
d) I express my needs clearly and firmly.

6. I lose my love when those around me fail to give me what I want or need – otherwise I do love them.

Lessons:

a) All those found in No. 4 and No. 5.
b) To love others as they are, souls in the process of evolution.
c) That life gives me exactly what I need every moment for my evolution.

Keys to Freedom

a) All those found in No. 4 and No. 5.
b) I am an eternal soul. My fullness and happiness are found within me.

7. I lose my serenity and become aggressive when my program changes suddenly.

I look for the person “responsible” and I release my anger or frustration on him. I have difficulty in flowing with situations as they develop.

Lessons:

a) That I am not in danger from change or the unknown. To have full confidence in life and the divine plan.
b) To have confidence in my ability to face anything which might happens.
c) To remember that life is giving, has given and always will give me exactly what I need for my evolution.
d) I don’t need to control every situation in order to be safe.

Keys of Happiness

1) I live within a divine plan and I am always safe.
2) Life gives me exactly what I need every moment.

8. I am unhappy because the others never understand me.
And thus, I don’t try to communicate.

Lessons:

a) To become liberated of the need to be understood by others.
b) To be liberated of the thought form that the others are not going to understand me.
c) To learn to communicate more firmly and clearly so that the other person will be prompted to listen to me.
d) To find out what it is that I do which makes the other person unable to be open with me.
e) To discover past experiences which make me attract, and be sensitive to, such behavior.

Keys to Happiness

a) I am worthy and secure, regardless if others (or particularly he/she) pay attention, love me or understand me.
b) I express myself openly and sincerely, regardless of the results.
c) Underneath people’s negativity, I can discern their fear and pain.

9. I must do what others (especially parents) expect of me.
I am indebted. I am unhappy because I can’t do what I want.

Lessons:

a) To do whatever I do because of love and not because of obligation.
b) To acquire discrimination in relation to what exactly I owe, i.e., I owe love, respect, help etc. but not living my life according to other people’s expectations.
c) To become conscious of the fact that my life belongs to me and not to anyone else.
d) Not to blame others as an excuse for my inability to do those things which would lead to my own self-fulfillment.
e) To communicate more openly and clearly with the others in connection with my beliefs, feelings, purposes, values and needs.
f) That others can love me even when I don’t fulfill their expectations.

Keys to Happiness

a) I love, respect and help everybody (and those who have helped me) but I live my life according to my own values and purposes.
b) I listen to every point of view; I think and then follow my own conclusions.
c) I communicate openly and sincerely, even with those who don’t agree with me.
d) Others will love me even when I don’t fulfill their expectations.

10. I cannot have love, attention, tenderness from others. They don’t give them to me. I feel injustice and indignation (wounded, angry). I want to find somebody else who will give me what I need.

Lessons:

a) To become free of the thought forms which cause me:
1) Not to attract what I want and need from others.
2) Not to see what I do have from others.
3) To ruin what I have when I do have it.

b) To learn to ask for what I need, clearly and firmly.
c) To learn that I don’t need to have things that I require from specific people.
d) To learn to give to myself what I need.
e) Not to play games in order to have what I need from others.

Keys to Happiness

1) I deserve people’s love, tenderness and attention exactly as I am.
2) All the things I am looking for outside myself are actually inside me.
3) Whatever I need is inside me.
4) I communicate my needs openly and clearly to others.

11. I am ill and feel an injustice.
It must be some type of punishment, but I am not guilty of anything.

Lessons:

a) To become healthy by making changes in my eating and thinking habits and way of life in general.
b) To understand that illness is not a punishment but:
1) My own creation
2) An opportunity for development
c) To perceive the various opportunities for development that exist in my situation.
d) To become conscious of the fact that there is no punishment, that I am the exclusive creator of my reality.
e) To learn not to identify with the body.

Keys to Happiness

a) Life gives me exactly what I need for my development.
b) There is a cosmic justice which brings to everyone exactly what he deserves (creates).
c) I am not this body. I am an eternal soul independent of this body.

12. I am ill. I am ashamed. I feel that I am a failure, that I am weak,
that others will reject me.

Lessons:

a) To accept myself as I am, with my weaknesses and limitations.
b) To make changes in my nutrition, thinking and way of life in order to create health.
c) To become free of the thought form that others will reject me if I show weakness.
d) To accept others with their weaknesses.
e) To free myself from the need of their approval.
f) Not to identify with the body.

Keys to Happiness

a) Health is my true nature.
b) I accept myself even when my body has a problem.
c) Others love me as I am.

13. We have nothing in common.
We cannot communicate. I feel lonely, disappointment and injustice.

Lessons:

a) That the other person is exactly what I need for my spiritual development.
b) To find out what it is that I am doing which makes it difficult for the other to connect with me.
c) To find within me the fullness that up to now I was trying to find in the other person.
d) To approach the other person with more love.
e. To find what I look for in others and not think that I need to find all I need in one particular person.
f) To learn to be more interested in the other person and his concerns.

Keys to Happiness

a) I feel unity even with those who cannot communicate with me.
b) I have enough love in me for both of us (or all of us).
c) I take from God and give to man.

14. The others dominate me, they force me to do things that I don’t want to do. They won’t love me if I don’t obey. I feel injustice, fear, bitterness, oppression and anger.

Lessons:

a) I don’t need to do what others ask me to, so that:
1) I can be worthy, I can be good.
2) I will be accepted and loved.
b) That others can control me only when I want something from them (acceptance, affirmation, security, enjoyment, service, love etc.).
c) To be able to say “no” when what they ask is:
1) Harmful for me, them or others.
2) Something which spoils them that is an obstacle to their development.
3) Against my values and ethics.
d) To respect my needs and my values.
e) To love others even when they react negatively.
f) I am not responsible for the happiness, health, success and development of other people.

Keys to Happiness

a) I give what I can with love.
b) I respect others and myself.
c) I am worth loving even when I cannot satisfy others.
d) Others love me for what I am (love, light, peace) and not for what I do.

SITUATION NO. 15

I SUSPECT THAT MY SPOUSE IS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. I FEEL HURT. BETRAYED, HUMILIATED, FEAR, SHAMED, BITTER, ANGER AND SOMETIMES, ANGER AND HATE AND WANT REVENGE.

LESSONS:
1. To analyse why my mind is predisposed to believing this about my spouse and myself.
2. To realise that by self-worth is not dependent on whether my spouse prefers me or someone else.
3. To cultivate the belief that I will be secure and can be happy and socially acceptable without my spouse.
4. To have faith that if my spouse leaves me, I will be given another if that is useful for my evolution or else I will be happy by myself.
5. To search to see what it is I am doing which may prevent the other from feeling happy or secure of loved with me.
6. To learn to be more loving and accepting towards the other.
7. To give more attention to the other and to pay more attention to his/her needs.
8. To be able to accept myself without a spouse.
9. To forgive the other for his weaknesses and mistakes and love him anyway.
10. To cultivate a more positive image of myself so that I do not so easily suspect that the other does not love me or prefers someone else.
11. To check and see whether I myself feel totally dedicated to my spouse.
12. To check to see whether I myself do not occasionally feel the need to be with someone else.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
I am lovable and acceptable in all situations.
My happiness and security are within me.
I love others without expecting anything form them.
My self-worth is permanent and unrelated to what others think or how they act.

SITUATION NO 16

OTHERS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE AND CONSCIENTIOUS. I FEEL LET DOWN, USED, BETRAYED, BITTER, DEMEANED, HUMILIATED, ANXIOUS, FEARFUL OF FAILURE, ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. To accept others as they are.
2. To learn to express my needs and what I expect more clearly.
3. To explain more clearly to others how I feel when our agreements are not met.
4. To detach my self-worth from the results of my actions. Not to be attached to the results of my actions.
5. To allow others the time and space to be motived to do their work.
6. To have more faith in others and their abilities.
7. To become the other’s friend and not only his coworker.
8. To do active listening to understand what the other’s problem is.
9. To love and accept the others even when they are unable to be conscientious.
10. To check and see if I myself am always responsible and conscientious in all of my activities.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I love and accept others as they are, and even when they have faults and weakness.
2. I accept and love myself regardless of the results of my efforts.
3. I have faith in the divine being in each, and allow each to take on his responsibilities.
4. The world can function without me.

SITUATION NO. 17

I AM NOT HAPPY WITH MY BOY (GIRL) FRIEND. HE/SHE DOES NOT GIVE ME WHAT I WANT. BUT I REMAIN BECAUSE I AM NOT SURE WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I AM ALONE AGAIN.

LESSONS:
1. To learn to be happy with that particular person.
2. To learn to see the others positive traits.
3. To overcome fear of relationships
4. To overcome the fear of being alone.
5. To love and accept the other as he is.
6. To believe that if it is best for me to have a partner, that he/she will come to me from life.
7. To overcome the idea that it is difficult to find a partner.
8. To free my sense of self-worth from whether I have a partner of not.
9. To learn to feel secure without a partner.
10. To see whether I am giving to the other what he needs from me.
11. Do I love and want to be with the other?

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. Life gives me exactly what I need in every situation for my happiness and growth.
2. I can be equally happy with and without a partner.
3. My security and self worth have nothing to do with whether I have a partner or not.
4. I see the divine essence in all persons.

SITUATION NO. 18

THE OTHERS ARE PLAYING THEIR TV (RADIO) LOUDLY EVERY NIGHT. I FEEL , IGNORED, DEMEANED, REJECTED, BITTER, ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. To express my needs to the others with greater clarity, assertiveness and love.
2. To free myself from the belief that there will be conflict; that I will hurt the others or that they will hurt me.
3. To free myself from the importance which i give to what others think about me.
4. Not to take this sound personally as a rejection of my needs or person, but simply as some thing which the other needs or which makes him happy.
5. To accept the others and love them even when they are unable to respect our needs.
6. To send positive thoughts and light to the others, when they are unable to cooperate.
7. To believe that others can be interested in my needs and want to cooperate with me.
8. To love myself even when others are not able to respect my needs or feelings.
9. To check and see if perhaps I myself am not respecting other’s needs.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I love and accept myself even when others do not respect my needs.
2. I love and accept others even when they are unable to respect my needs.
3. Others love and care for me and want to cooperate with me.
4. I can confront others assertively and lovingly without their being a conflict.

SITUATION NO. 19

OTHERS ARE ALWAYS USING ME. THEY WANT TO TAKE WHATEVER THEY CAN FROM ME AND DO NOT CARE ABOUT ME. I FEEL FEAR OF BEING USED, INSECURE, CHEATED, BITTERNESS, INJUSTICE, HUMILIATED, ANGRY AND MISTRUSTFUL.

LESSONS:
1. To change my beliefs about people and their motives. To have a more positive image of people.
2. To free my self from any desires to use people.
3. To free myself from childhood experiences in which I felt that I was being used.
4. To love accept people even when they want to use me for their own needs
5. To free myself from the idea that I am in some danger if they want to use me.
6. To realise that there is nothing that anyone can take from me, if I do not give it.
7. To learn to say ‘no’ and not give that which I do not want to give.
8. To free my self from the dependency which I have on people who I believe are using me.
9. To develop inner security and feelings of self-worth so that I do not give others the chance to use me because I need them.
10. To develop the feeling of selfless service and give to others freely that which they need from me.
11. To free my self from the belief that my freedom in in danger or that others can control me.
12. To develop my feelings of inner strength and inner power.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. Life gives me exactly what I need at each moment.
2. I am lovable even when I say “no”.
3. I feel secure and safe in every situation.
4. I give freely of myself when I feel to, and explain to others that I cannot when I don’t.

SITUATION NO. 20

MY SPOUSE (OR EVEN OTHERS) DOES NOT PAY ATTENTION TO ME WHEN I SPEAK. I FEEL IGNORED, REJECTED, HUMILIATED, INJUSTICE, BITTERNESS, ANGER.

LESSONS:
1. To give the other what he needs from me.
2. Not to nag to criticise the other so much.
3. To speak to the other in a way in which he does not feel threatened or demeaned or perhaps bored.
4. To show more interest in the other’s needs.
5. Not to interrupt the other when he/she is concentrated on something else.
6. To do some active listening to try to why the other is unable to respond.
7. To express my need for him/her to pay attention more clearly and affirmatively but with love.
8. To free myself from the belief that people do not pay attention to me.
9. To free myself from childhood experiences in which they did not pay attention to me.
10. To free myself from the idea that my self-worth is diminished when others ignore me.
11. To love the other and accept him even when he/she is unable to pay attention to me or respect my needs.
12. To see what I might be doing which causes the other to react in this way.
13. Not to take this personally, but as the other’s need or weakness.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I love and accept myself regardless of the other’s behaviour.
2. I express my needs clearly, lovingly and assertively.
3. I deserve the others’ respect and attention as they deserve mine.
4. I love and accept the others regardless of their behavior.

SITUATION NO. 21

I HAVE ALWAYS HAD SO MANY RESPONSIBILITIES. EVERYONE DEPENDS ON ME. NO ONE DOES ANY THING TO HELP ME. I FEEL TIRED, WORN DOWN, ABUSED, INJUSTICE, BITTERNESS, FEARFUL THAT THINGS WILL NOT GET DONE, ANGRY AND RESENTFUL.

LESSONS:
1. To not be so attached to things getting done or to the results of our efforts.
2. To allow others the space to do things in their own time.
3. To have more faith in the others and in their abilities.
4. Not to nag others or to push them when they are not ready.
5. To allow things not to be done until the others are ready to to do them.
6. To free myself from the idea that I am responsible for everything.
7. To learn to express my needs more clearly, lovingly and assertively.
8. To search and see if I myself may not be avoid responsibilities in some other field.
9. To love and accept the others even when they cannot be as conscientious as I am.
10. To learn not to do things , when I do not feel that I want to.
11. To free my sense of self-worth from how much I do, or how capable I am.
12. To not use work and activity as a means of avoiding my inner feelings.
13. To be more relaxed in my moments and communication with others.
14. To free my self from the fear of rejection from the others when I do not fulfil all of my responsibilities.
15. To stop evaluating myself and others based on how much each does or accomplishes or how quickly he does it.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I love and accept myself regardless as to how much I do.
2. I express my needs and feelings clearly, lovingly and assertively.
3. I have faith in the other’s abilities and allow them the space to fulfil their responsibilities.
4. I am unconcerned about the results of my efforts.

SITUATION NO. 22

MY SPOUSE IN VERY JEALOUS AND CREATES UNPLEASANT SITUATIONS EVERY TIME I AM TO GO OUT BY MYSELF OR EVERY TIME THERE IS SOME OTHER STIMULUS. I FEEL SUPPRESSED, LIMITED, INJUSTICE, RESENTFUL, HURT THAT HE/SHE DOES NOT HAVE MORE FAITH IN ME, AND ALSO ANGER.

LESSONS:
1. To free myself from the feeling of responsibility which I feel for the other’s reality and function normally, with out guilt or fear.
2. To do more to help the other be sure of and secure in my love for him/her.
3. To see if maybe I have not actually given to the other with my thoughts or actions to have this fear and doubt.
4. To check and see if I myself feel secure with the other or whether or not I too might also be jealous.
5. To see if I may not be using this “power” over the other and feel perhaps “affirmed” by his/her jealousy.
6. To free my self from beliefs that I am not free or do not have the right to be free , or that my freedom is vulnerable.
7. To love and accept the other inspite of his negativity.
8. To free my self from experiences in my childhood years in which others did not believe me, or limited my freedom.
9. To learn the real freedom is internal and not external.
10. To search for the possibility that I am consciously or subconsciously rejecting the other.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I feel my innocence and my freedom regardless of the other’s behaviour.
2. I love and accept the other exactly as he is.
3. My freedom is never endangered unless I myself give it up.
4. Freedom is internal freedom from needs, fears and desires.
5. I express my needs clearly, lovingly and assertively.

SITUATION NO. 23

I FEEL ASHAMED OF MY (SPOUSE, CHILD, PARENT, FRIEND, EMPLOYER) . I FEAR THAT THEIR BEHAVIOUR WILL HUMILIATE ME IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS. I FEEL SHAME, HUMILIATION, DEMEANED, SELF REJECTION AND ALSO REJECTION TOWARDS THE OTHER AND INJUSTICE AND ANGER THAT HE/SHE IS DOING THIS TO ME.

LESSON:
1. To realise that my self-worth is not dependent on the people with whom I associate (spouse, child, parent, friend, employer etc.).
2. To free myself from the importance which I give to what others think of me.
3. To learn to accept and love the other exactly as he is.
4. To free my self from superficial ways of measuring people’s worth, such as knowledge, education, money, appearance, professional success, social success, communication skills etc.
5. To accept and love myself regardless of externals factors.
6. To discover what I am not giving to the other which prevents him from being to me what I need him to be.
7. To accept in myself that which I cannot accept in the other.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I love and accept myself and others exactly as we are.
2. Our self worth is divine and cannot change or be dependent on external factors.
3. We are all equally children of God containing the same spiritual value.
4. God is the inner consciousness of every being I meet – including myself.

SITUATION NO. 24

MY (SPOUSE, PARENT, CHILD) IS AN ADDICTED PERSON (ALCOHOL, NARCOTICS). HIS/HER BEHAVIOUR IS UNPREDICTABLE, SOMETIMES AGGRESSIVE, OFTEN IRRESPONSIBLE. I FEEL FEAR, FOR HIM AND US. I FEEL HURT, BITTER, ABUSED, REJECTED, UNWORTHY, HUMILIATED, RESENTFUL AND ANGRY BOTH AT HIM AND AT GOD.

LESSONS:
1. To believe that I deserve respect and love.
2. To get free from childhood experiences in which I was conditioned in some way to believe that I am not worthy of love and affection, happiness or freedom.
3. To learn to love and accept the other despite his/her weakness or negativity.
4. To see that the other is suffering and to want to help him without losing my own self respect and without making him even weaker.
5. To free my self from the idea that I am responsible for his/her reality or cure.
6. To allow the other to have responsibility both for his unhappiness and his therapy.
7. To realise that I have the right to be happy even if the other is not.
8. To not take what he/she does personally, and to realise that my self worth is not diminished by his/her actions; that he/she has a problem.
9. To search for what I may not be giving the other which he/she may need, such as love, acceptance , affection.
10. To free ourselves from the role of the parent or saviour in relationship to the other.
11. To learn to express our needs and rights clearly, lovingly and assertively.
12. To overcome any shame which we feel towards the others because our loved one has this problem. To free ourselves from worrying about how others see us.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I love and accept others and help them while allowing them to retain total responsibility for their reality.
2. I help others more with my happiness, than with my pain.
3. I deserve love, affection and respect exactly as I am.
4. Life gives me exactly what I need every moment for my evolutionary process.

SITUATION NO. 25

I AM NOT HAPPY OR SATISFIED WITH WHAT I AM RECEIVING FROM MY PRESENT RELATIONSHIP (NOT MARRIAGE). I DON’T KNOW WHETHER TO STAY AND LEARN THROUGH NOT GETTING WHAT I WANT; OR TO LEAVE AND BE ALONE AND LEARN THROUGH THAT. I FEEL CONFUSED AND IMPRISONED, BITTER THAT I CANNOT GET WHAT I WANT, FEARFUL OF BEING ALONE, REJECTION TOWARDS THE OTHER AND TOWARDS MY SELF.

LESSONS:
1. To analyse why I want to be with this person and why I do not.
2. To accept the other and to love him as he is.
3. To overcome my fear of being alone.
4. To overcome the belief that it will be difficult to find someone else.
5. To see what it is that I am not offering to him/her which prevents him/her from giving me what I need.
6. To free my self from the fear of a committed relationship.
7. To free myself from the belief that I cannot get what I need from a relationship.
8. To free myself from the belief that i will suffer in a relationship i.e.. lose my freedom, be abused, be abandoned etc.
9. To free myself from childhood experiences or models in which I was programmed negatively towards relationships.
10. To learn to be happy alone.
11. To feel secure and worthy even without a partner.
12. To express my needs more clearly.
13. To discover what I really want out of life, my real goals, and values.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I feel worthy and secure with or without a partner.
2. I love and accept the others exactly as they are.
3. I feel free and secure in a committed relationship.
4. I feel secure and happy on my own.

SITUATION NO. 26

IT IS DIFFICULT FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY ANGER. I FEEL NEGATIVE TOWARDS OTHERS BUT CANNOT EXPRESS HOW I FEEL. I FEEL BLOCKED, ANGRY, UPSET, FRUSTRATED, HURT BY THE OTHERS. I FEEL NEGLECTED, RESENTFUL AND HUMILIATED.

LESSONS:
1. To overcome the fear of a conflict.
2. To overcome the attachment or the fear which makes me angry and learn to love the other as he is.
3. To learn to express my anger in the form of an “I message”.
4. To learn patience, forgiveness, understanding etc.
5. To realise that I have the right to express my needs and feelings and for them to be heard and understood by the others.
6. To believe that the others love me.
7. To be more pleasant and positive to the others.
8. To get free from the belief that I am the victim or that others want to use me or hurt me.
9. To feel comfortable saying “no” and believe that the other will love me anyway.
10. To express my needs more clearly and not expect the other to be a mind reader. To express my needs frequently and not expect the other to understand to first time.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. Life gives me exactly what I need at every moment.
2. I am the sole creator of my reality.
3. I am lovable and have cooperative relationships with all persons.
4. I express my needs and feelings clearly at the moment I have them but with respect for others.

SITUATION NO. 27

MY PARENTS ARE EXPECTING ME TO GET THIS DEGREE AND IT IS SOMETHING WHICH DOES NOT INTEREST ME AT ALL. I DO NOT WANT TO DO IT, BUT THEY WILL NOT UNDERSTAND . I FEEL OBLIGED TO THEM TO GET IT. I FEEL PRESSURED, SUPPRESSED, DEPRESSED, HURT, SELF REJECTION, REJECTION TOWARDS THEM, BITTERNESS, MISUNDERSTOOD, ALONE, AND SOMETIMES ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. To love others without believing that I am responsible for their happiness of reality.
2. To realise that love does mean that we need to sacrifice our values and interests in life.
3. To overcome the blockage which prevents me from being interested in learning this subject.
4. To clarify my life goals.
5. To get free from the roles of the child (emotionally and materially and financially).
6. To love the others even when they make demands on us.
7. To love ourselves even when we cannot satisfy the other’s expectations of us.
8. To realise what we are doing which make others see us as a child.
9. To learn to make more serious effort at learning and overcome laziness or fear of failure.
10. To express more clearly and lovingly our needs, beliefs, values and goals.
11. To overcome the fear of facing life alone.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I love and accept everyone without feeling the need to fulfil their expectations.
2. I am lovable and acceptable even when I cannot fulfil the other’s expectations.
3. I am an immortal soul with equal rights and powers with all other beings.
4. My life is my own creation and I have the right to make my mistakes and live with them.
5. I am able to study and get this degree which will always be useful at some time.

SITUATION NO. 28

I HAVE A CONTINUAL ANXIETY ABOUT MY CHILDREN. I FEAR THAT SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN TO THEM. THEY MIGHT BECOME ILL, OR DIE, OR FAIL, OR GET CAUGHT UP NARCOTICS USE, OR BE HURT BY OTHERS ESPECIALLY THE OPPOSITE SEX. I FEEL FEAR, ANXIETY, NERVOUS TENSION, HAVE ILLUSIONS OF THEM BEING HARMED, AND CONFLICT WITH THEM IN MY NEED TO PROTECT THEM.

LESSONS:
1. To have more faith in my children, their intelligence and ability to protect themselves and succeed in life.
2. To have more faith in God and the Divine plan for my children. That each is being overwatched by the one universal consciousness and that nothing “accidental” can happen.
3. To see my children as immortal spirits in a process of evolution, temporarily incarnated in these bodies for the process of learning, and that nothing could ever happen to them which is not a part of their learning process.
4. To free my self from the role of parent and to realise that my self-worth does not depend on what happens to my children.
5. To free myself from my anxiety about what other people will say about me if something happens to my children.
6. To find other interests in life so that I do not need them so much and focus on them in an exaggerated way.
7. To free myself from any feelings of guilt which make me feel that I might be punished through my children or that we do not have divine protection.
8. To love them without needing to receive from them or being attached to affirmation through their success.
9. To realise that humans learn through their experiences and that those who do not confront difficulties do not develop inner strength.
10. To realise that I am only harming their own self-confidence by worrying about them.
11. To understand that my negative thoughts pass onto to them whether I express them or not.
12. To realise that worrying and fear can solve no problems.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. My children are immortal souls in the process of evolution. Within them lies all the knowledge and power to protect themselves and continue their evolution.
2. Life gives them in each moment exactly what they need for their inner development.
3. My self worth is not measured by how my children do.
4. My children are God’s children and they are only temporarily given to me for the first years in this world. As they grow older they becomes God’s responsibility not mine.

SITUATION NO. 29

MY MOTHER-IN-LAW (OR ANY OTHER RELATIVE OR FRIEND) BUDS INTO OUR LIVES CONTINUOUSLY. I WANT TO TELL HER/HIM BUT DO NOT WANT HIM/HER OR MY SPOUSE TO BE HURT. I HAVE SUPPRESSED MY NEEDS AND FEELINGS FOR MANY YEARS NOW. I FEEL IMPRISONED, RESENTFUL, FEARFUL OF BEING CONTROLLED, INJUSTICE, ANGER AND EVEN HATE AT TIMES. I ALSO FEEL GUILT ABOUT HAVING THOSE FEELINGS.

LESSONS:
1. To love and accept that person as he/she is and forgive him/her for his/her weaknesses and negativity.
2. To express to the others my needs and feelings more clearly, more lovingly and more assertively.
3. To free myself from feeling guilty when I am not able to satisfy everyone’s needs or opinions.
4. To be able to say “no” without feeling guilty or that there will necessarily be a conflict, or that the other will stop loving us.
5. To believe that the others can hear the truth and discuss any situation maturely like adults.
6. To free myself from childhood experiences in which I was programmed to believe that others would not respect my needs, or would criticise me, or would not be able to communicate peacefully.
7. To cultivate more positive feelings towards these persons.
8. To look for their positive qualities and see them as incarnations of God sent to us t test our ability to love unconditionally.
9. To workout some types of practical agreements in which all feel that some of their needs are being fulfilled. ( The six step no-lose method )

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. Each and every person is an expression of God sent to me to learn to love unconditionally.
2. Love means honest communication on all parts and mutually satisfying solutions.
3. I express my needs and feelings clearly and loving and retain the other’s love in this way.
4. I am lovable and acceptable even when I cannot fulfil other’s expectations.

SITUATION NO. 30

MY HUSBAND (WIFE) IS MISSING FROM THE HOUSE CONTINUALLY. I FEEL ABANDONED, REJECTED, HUMILIATED, RESENTMENT, INJUSTICE AND ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. To feel happy and fulfilled and worthy even when the other is not there.
2. To communicate my need for him/her to be there more clearly,assertively and lovingly.
3. To love and accept the other as he is with that need.
4. To search (perhaps with the other) for what I might be doing which might be causing him to be missing.
5. To not take this personally and realise that his/her need in not an expression of rejection nor lack of love towards us, but simply a need or interest which he/she has.
6. Not to measure my self-worth by the attention which I receive from the other.
7. Not to nag about this, but to discuss it openly and without accusations.
8. To learn to have more personal interests to fill my own time.
9. Perhaps to join the other in what he or she is doing.
10. To get free from beliefs that I do not deserve something better. Or that this is life and I cannot expect something more satisfying.
11. To get free from childhood experiences in which I may have seen such situations in which one was unable to get what he wanted from the other.
12. To express my needs more frequently and to think of interesting things which we can do together.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. Fulfilment and happiness are within me and do not depend on anyone else.
2. I accept and love myself regardless of the other’s behaviour.
3. I express my needs and feelings clearly and lovingly.
4. Unity is not dependent on how much time we spend together, but how we feel towards each other.

SITUATION NO. 31

I DO NOT FEEL THAT MY FRIENDS WANT TO BE WITH ME. I GET THE MESSAGE THAT THEY DO NOT SEEK ME OUT AS MUCH AS I SEEK THEM. I FEEL REJECTED, ALONE, MISUNDERSTOOD, HURT, DEPRESSION AND SOMETIMES ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. That my self-worth is not dependent upon whether the others want me or not.
2. To be less dependent on the others, and ask less of them.
3. To realise that often their lack of actively seeking our company may have nothing to do with how much they like us,but as function of their very busy lives.
4. To discover what it is that I do which may push people away. Perhaps I talk too much about myself, or give too much advice, or am always depressed, or seeking to take energy from them, not having any of my own.
5. To learn to be fulfilled and satisfied within myself.
6. To seek out those who also feel lonely and help them.
7. To want to be with others in order to give (not advice) and not to take.
8. To love and accept those who do not show interest in us.
9. To express our needs more clearly to those of whom we have need and do actively listening to see what might be the problem.
10. To develop greater inner strength and have less need for the others.
11. To develop a relationship with God so that we always have company.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. My fulfilment and happiness are within me and not dependent on anyone else.
2. My self-worth is absolute and divine as I am a child of God. No one can increase of diminish my self-worth.
3. I take from God and give to others.
4. I express my needs and accept myself and others when they are unable to fulfil them.

SITUATION NO. 32

MY PARTNER (MARRIED OR NOT) JUST LEFT ME AND MY WORLD HAS COLLAPSED. I FEEL REJECTED, HURT, BETRAYED, DEPRESSED, BELITTLED, SHAMED, FEARFUL, BITTER AND ANGRY AND SOMETIMES EVEN HATE AND REVENGE.

LESSONS:
1. To realise that I can be happy and secure without him/her.
2. To realise that my self-worth is not dependent on whether this person wants to be with me or prefers me to all others.
3. To learn to be happy and fulfilled by myself.
4. To learn to forgive and love and accept the other even if he/she prefers not to be with me at this time, or even if he/she prefers to be with someone else.
5. To examine within myself to see what I may have done which might have made the other unhappy or unfulfilled with me.
6. To free myself from the belief that I will be abandoned or my fear of abandonment or my attachment to the other , or to having an partner.
7. To free myself from beliefs which say that I do not deserve to have a happy relationship.
8. To free myself from negative childhood experiences which may have created a negative image of relationships in my subconscious.
9. To learn to give and take with a wider circle of persons and not limit my love to only one person.
10. To be more positive and less demanding and less attached in my relationships.
11. To give more of myself to the other.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. My security and happiness are within me and do not depend on any other.
2. I deserve and can have a happy relationship if that is useful for my evolution.
3. I am giving and receiving love with an ever wider circle of people.
4. Life gives me exactly what I need at each moment for my evolution.
5. My self-worth is absolute and not dependent on others in anyway.

SITUATION NO. 33

MY TEACHER (SPIRITUAL OR OTHERWISE) REJECTS ME (OR DOES NOT GIVE ME AS MUCH ATTENTION AS HE GIVES TO THE OTHERS). I FEEL REJECTED, UNWORTHY, HUMILIATED, BELITTLED, RESENTFUL, HURT AND ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. That my self-worth is not dependent on this teacher’s opinion or behaviour.
2. That my spiritual growth and God’s love for me have nothing to do with this or any other teacher’s or priest’s opinion of me. I am God’s child.
3. That perhaps the teacher is not rejecting me, but wants to help me learn some lesson.
4. To be more sure of myself, of my abilities and self-worth and not to put others in the role of my parents to tell me whether I am worthy or not.
5. To try to understand what it is that we are doing which is causing his/her attitude towards us.
6. To free ourselves from previous experiences in which we have felt rejection or ignored by teachers or parents or other authority figures.
7. To love and accept him/her exactly as he/she is.
8. To realise that he/she are human and that we are all souls in the process of evolution.
9. To overcome any fear of approaching him/her and express our feelings and needs.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I am God’s child and am always lovable and acceptable.
2. All soul’s are equally in the process of evolution.
3. I love and accept myself in all situations.
4. I am equal with all beings regardless of the roles we all play.
SITUATION NO. 34

I DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH OTHER PEOPLE. I AM AFRAID OF REJECTION. I FEEL ENDANGERED, FEARFUL, INFERIOR, WEAK, HELPLESS, AND UNABLE TO EXPRESS MY SELF.

LESSONS:
1. That my self-worth does not depend on what others think about me or say about me or how they behave towards me.
2. that I am not in danger from the others. That they will not harm me.
3. To free myself from past experiences in which I felt harmed, abused, rejected, criticised or done injustice to by others.
4. To develop a more positive opinion of myself and my abilities and my self-worth.
5. That I am a God’s child, an immortal soul in the process of evolution and have the same power and the same value of any other being.
6. To express myself more dynamically ( perhaps at first through some creative activity such as dance, song, music , etc.)
7. To develop more love and closeness to others .
8. To see the others as manifestations of the one God.
9. To have faith in the Divine Plan that nothing will ever happen to me which is not within that plan which has my best spiritual interests always in mind.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I am an immortal divine being and the power and love of God are within me.
2. I live in the constant presence of God and feel secure in all situations.
3. I am lovable to all persons.
4. Life gives me exactly what I need in every moment.

SITUATION NO. 35

MY PARTNER WANTS TO HAVE MORE FREQUENT SEXUAL CONTACT AND I DO NOT FEEL THE SAME. I FEEL PRESSURED, ENDANGERED, FEAR OF CLOSE CONTACT AND ALSO PAIN AND GUILT THAT HE/SHE IS SUFFERING BECAUSE OF ME IN THIS WAY.

LESSONS:
1. To search for and understand why I do not feel like having more contact with him/her. Perhaps I am feeling isolated, or hurt or alienated.
2. To free myself from the belief that sex is dirty or evil.
3. To give more affection and loving affirmation to the other so that he/she does not believe that I do not love him/her.
4. To discriminate between affection and hugging and caressing and sex. The others can exist without sex.
5. To express my needs and beliefs to the other more clearly, lovingly and assertively without feeling responsible for his/her reality.
6. To be able to continue to love the other even when he/she is angry with us or blaming us.
7. To see if there is something which I am doing which is making the other feel rejected and in need of affirmation of how we feel.
8. To overcome any negativity which I am feeling towards the other.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I express my feelings clearly and lovingly and retain a feeling of unity with the other regardless of his reactions.
2. I am open to loving union with my spouse on all levels, spiritual, emotional, mental and physical.
3. When used properly sex is a divine act, as are all other acts given to man.
4. This partner is my perfect spiritual teacher given to me by God for my evolution.

SITUATION NO. 36

I NEED MORE SEXUAL CONTACT AND AFFECTION FROM MY SPOUSE, BUT SHE/HE DOES NOT FEEL THE SAME. I FEEL REJECTED, CHEATED, INJUSTICE, BITTER, DEPRIVED, ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. To become less focused on the sexual level for pleasure, relaxation or affirmation of my self as a man/woman.
2. To feel?the other’s love and caring for me without its verification through the sexual act.
3. To discuss and discover if the other may not be having some negative feelings towards me because of something I have or have not done.
4. To love and feel close to the other even if he/she cannot give me what I need.
5. To express my needs with an I- message helping the other to understand how I feel.
6. Not to push the other and let him/her overcome this in his/her own way and timing.
7. To become more spiritually oriented and direct my energies in other directions, especially into creativity and spiritual exercises.
8. To love an accept myself more and realise that my self-worth is not dependent on whether the other wants me sexually or not.
9. To free myself from this attachment.
10. To realise that love and affection and hugging can be expressed without sex, and that when I approach the other sexually this creates fear and thus a blockage also towards affection or close physical contact in general.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I love and accept myself regardless of the others’ behavior.
2. I am an eternal soul, neither male nor female.
3. My happiness and satisfaction are within me and not in anyone else.
4. Life gives me ( or not) exactly what I need for the next step in my evolution.
5. I express my needs clearly and lovingly and continue to love the other even when he/she cannot respond.

SITUATION NO. 37

I FEAR ‘THAT’ (PLANES, BOATS, ELEVATORS, FIRES, HOSPITALS, LARGE CROWDS, BEING ALONE ETC.) I FEEL FEAR, PANIC, DANGER AND BECOME ‘PARALYSED’ UNABLE TO APPROACH IT OR FUNCTION NORMALLY.

LESSONS:
1. To learn that I am not in danger from any of these.
2. To approach them slowly and gradually so as to realise that I am not in danger.
3. To accept myself even with that fear.
4. To get in touch with childhood experiences which may have created those fears.
5. To have greater faith in God and the divine plan.
6. To realise that I am an invulnerable immortal spirit which can never be harmed.
7. To develop a more positive image of myself.
KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I am an immortal spirit in God’s total protection.
2. Life is totally an expression of God’s thought. Nothing can ever happen to me which is not allowed by God.
3. I feel safe and secure in every situation.
4. Fear exists only when I allow my mind to live in illusion.

SITUATION NO. 38

MY CHILD IS NOW GROWN UP (BETWEEN 21 AND 40) BUT STILL LIVES WITH US (OR DEPENDS ON US) AND DOES NOT DO HIS SHARE. WE STILL SUPPORT HIM FINANCIALLY. I FEEL DANGER FOR HIS FUTURE, FEAR, WORRY, FAILURE AS A PARENT, SHAME IN THE EYES OF THE OTHERS AND SOMETIMES ANGER.

LESSONS:
1. That my child is an immortal soul in the process of evolution and is capable of surviving by himself.
2. To accept and love him as he is with these weakness.
3. To be more firm with him and not help out financially any more since he is able to take care of himself.
4. To become his friend and help him understand what is blocking him.
5. To give more affirmation of his abilities, which means to stop worrying about him. (something which he receives whether I express it with words or not).
6. To free myself from fears about what others will think about me if my child does not succeed.
7. To free myself from the fear of what will happen if I stop helping my child (what others will think, whether he will make it not, whether he will stop loving me.)
8. To realise that my child houses God’s divine power, and is actually God’s child not mine, and to leave his protection to God.
9. To ask the child to help me to discover what is the best thing for me to do at this point.
10. To overcome my own fears about survival and safety.
11. To overcome my own need for affirmation from society as measured by our relative success.
12. To let my child know that my love for him/her is unconditional and has nothing to do with whether he /she succeeds of not.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. My child is God’s child and has all the powers of the universe behind him for his survival and success.
2. I place my child in God’s all powerful hands.
3. Life is giving to myself and my child exactly what we need at every moment for our next steps in our growth process.
4. I have faith in the divine plan and what it brings moment by moment.

SITUATION NO. 39

I DO NOT LIKE MY WORK ANYMORE, BUT I AM AFRAID TO LEAVE IT BECAUSE I WORRY ABOUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN FINANCIALLY OR WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK ABOUT WHAT I HAVE DONE. I FEEL CONFUSION, CONFLICT, IMPRISONED, CONFINED, BORED, DEPRESSED AND UNHAPPY.

LESSONS:
1. To overcome the fear of financial insecurity.
2. To clarify my life values and goals.
3. To learn to love my job as it is.
4. To overcome my fear of what others may think.
5. To express myself more clearly at work so that the environment suits me better.
6. To search inwardly more deeply to discover what it is exactly which makes my work unpleasant for me.
7. To develop greater faith in God’s promise that if I do His work, that all my needs will be cared for.
8. To free myself from various attachments to comforts which create more need for money.
9. To learn to love and accept those persons in my work environment more unconditionally.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. Life gives me and will give at every moment exactly what I need to survive and grow spiritually.
2. I feel happy and at ease in all environments; including my work.
3. I have faith in God’s promise that all will be provided if I do his work.
4. I live my life according to my truest values and all will be give unto me.
5. I love and accept all persons exactly as they are.

SITUATION NO. 40

I FEAR CONFLICT WITH MY SPOUSE (PARENT, CHILD, SIBLING, FRIEND ETC.) AND THUS DO NOT EXPRESS MYSELF OPENLY AND HONESTLY. I FEEL IMPRISONED, ABUSED, HURT, VICTIMISED, BITTER, HUMILIATED, REJECTED, UNLOVED, AND ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. To not fear the other. to not give him/her so much power to criticise me or suppress me.
2. To cultivate feelings of greater self-confidence and self-worth and to feel equal with others.
3. To love and accept the other as he is without fearing him.
4. To remember that I am God’s child and have the same value, rights and power which the other has.
5. To love and accept myself even when others criticise me or shout at me, and to realise that they have some problem.
6. To express myself more clearly, lovingly and assertively without fear of what kind of reaction I might receive.
7. To remember that the other is unhappy and creates his own reality when he/she is upset with me.
8. To free myself from past experiences in which I might have been programmed to believe that I would receive this kind of reaction.
9. To remember that each person creates his own reality.
10. To check and see if I might not have similar reactions at times towards the others.
11. To check if I perhaps have antagonistic feelings towards the other. Perhaps I am competing for who is right, or who has the best ideas, or who is most capable. And if so, to stop competing.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I express myself clearly, lovingly and assertively in all cases regardless of the others’ reactions.
2. I accept an love the others exactly as they are.
3. I am God’s child and thus have equal rights and power with all beings.
4. I accept and love myself in all situations regardless of others’ reactions.

SITUATION NO. 41

MY LOVED ONE (SPOUSE, CHILD, PARENT) HAS LEFT HIS PHYSICAL BODY (WHAT WE CALL DEATH) AND I FEEL LOST, DEEP INNER PAIN, A SENSE OF MEANINGLESSNESS, AND DEEP EMPTINESS, DEPRESSION, INJUSTICE, GUILT, LONELINESS, BITTERNESS, AND EVEN ANGER TOWARDS GOD FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN.

LESSONS:
1. To find the inner strength to continue without the other.
2. To free myself from any guilt that I did not do what I could have to keep him/her alive or to show him/her my love.
3. To realise that I can be happy again with out him/her and that life does have meaning without him/her.
4. That there are millions of other souls with which I can exchange love and service.
5. To study the spiritual truths about the purpose of life and about what happens after death and about our true immortal spiritual nature.
6. To turn our attention to those who are still near us and love and serve them.
7. To free ourselves from feelings of insecurity and feel our inner strength and ability.
8. To develop a deeper relationship with God.
9. To be able to accept what has happened as a perfect part of a divine plan which always functions in our best spiritual interest.
10. To forgive anyone who might be apparently “to blame” for the death of our loved ones body. (the only real cause for any death is divine will)
11. To search for a new and deeper meaning in life.
12. To forgive myself for not having given to my loved one that which I wanted to give.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. We are all immortal souls temporarily occupying these bodies for the perfect length of time which we require to learn our lessons and the we leave.
2. All is happening according to a perfect divine plan.
3. I am an immortal divine soul with all the power and intelligence necessary to live my life fully and meaningfully.
4. My security and happiness are within me and do not depend on anyone else.

SITUATION NO. 42

MY LOVED ONE IS VERY ILL AND MIGHT EVEN LEAVE HIS/HER PHYSICAL BODY SOON. I FEEL VERY AFRAID, ANXIOUS, HELPLESS, BITTER, SOMETIMES GUILTY AND EVEN ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. To see my loved one as a soul in evolution temporarily living in physical body.
2. To have faith in a divine plan and do whatever I can to help him/her to get well but to have total faith that whatever is best for all will happen.
3. To think as positively as possible, and keep a smiling positive vibration, while employing all possible techniques for the healing of his body.
4. To overcome my fear of death of my body and the death of my loved one’s body.
5. To do whatever I can and leave the results up to God having faith that the best for everyone’s evolution will happen.
6. To deepen my spiritual life and contact with God.
7. To communicate deeply with my loved one so that we can work through any hidden differences or bitterness and develop total unity.
8. To love the other unconditionally regardless of his behavior which can sometimes become negative when he suffers.
9. To love and accept any doctors or hospital personnel as manifestations of the divine which are given to me to accept and love as they are.
10. To be able to talk to someone about how I feel and not hold all this in me.
12. To be able to talk with my loved one about how he feels, especially about the possibility of dying (if he/she wants to).
13. To take care of of my body and mind with a discipline of correct diet, exercises, breathing, relaxation and vitamins so that I can keep a good quality of energy during this testing time.
14. To be able to lovingly sacrifice my needs at this time in order to serve the other.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. We are all immortal souls temporarily occupying these bodies for our learning process, each of us will leave at the perfect moment for all.
2.There is a divine plan which is guiding our lives (and death) in a perfect way.
3. I offer all results of my effort to God.
4. Happiness and fulfilment are within me and I will always be okay no matter what happens in my life.

SITUATION NO. 43

I AM AFRAID OF BECOMING ILL (OR ALREADY AM ILL). I FEEL FEAR, ANXIETY, WEAKNESS, HELPLESSNESS, INJUSTICE, BITTERNESS, NERVOUS TENSION, AND SOME TIMES ANGRY AT LIFE OR GOD FOR MY MISFORTUNE.

LESSONS:
1. That I am a divine consciousness living temporarily in a body and that all the healing energy of the universe is at my disposal.
2. To live my life in a healthy way with proper diet, exercises, breathing techniques, deep relaxation, positive thought projection, meditation, prayer etc.
3. To imagine health in all parts of my being every day.
4. To learn to accept help from others.
5. To learn to do less and allow others to do more.
6. To overcome certain fears which weaken my health.
7. To free myself from various addictions (sugar, meat, cigarettes, alcohol) which weaken my health.
8. To free my self from various negative emotions which destroy my health.
9. To forgive and love more so that my vital energy is flowing more freely.
10. To develop an deeper relationship with God.
11. To find a new meaning in life.
12. To remember that I am not the body and that I cannot die.
13. To learn to detach myself from the body so as not to feel the pain of discomfort of the body.
14. To express my feelings more openly so that they do not remain within and destroy my health.
15. To do more things which please me and live a happier life.
16. To engage in more creative activities.
17. To serve others, thus finding more meaning in life.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I am the life energy of the universe, I am health in all parts of my being.
2. I am God’s child and His healing energy is always available to me.
3. I a doing everything I can to be healthy and leave the results up to God.
4. I am not this body, nor this mind. I am spirit.

SITUATION NO. 44

I HAVE TRIED MANY TIMES TO SPEAK TO MY LOVED ONE (SPOUSE, CHILD, PARENT) ABOUT OUR PROBLEMS BUT HE/SHE ALWAYS AVOIDS ME. I FEEL BITTER, REJECTED, ALONE, HELPLESS, HURT, BELITTLED AND ANGRY.

LESSONS:
1. To love and accept the other as he/she is.
2. To try to discover what it is I might be doing which causes the other to not want to communicate ( not feel safe in communicating).
3. To learn to feel unity with the other even without verbal communication.
4. Perhaps I need to talk less or only about essential subjects.
5. To have more self-confidence and not need so much the other’s approval.
6. To be able to let some things pass and develop on their own without feeling the need to plan and control absolutely everything.
7. To accept and love myself even when the other cannot respond.
8. To not take this as a personal rejection but as the other’s problem or need.
9. To be able to express my needs and feelings clearly, lovingly and assertively.
10. To see if I have alienated the other in some way with my behavior.
11. To become more interested in the others needs and not only in my need to talk.
12. To find new ways to create feelings of unity between us.
13. To express my need at opportune times and in a positive way so as not to pressure the other.
14. To leave the other alone for a period of time and let him open up at his own rate.
15. To check to see if I have perhaps an antagonistic relationship with the other.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I love and accept myself regardless of the other’s behavior.
2. I express myself clearly, lovingly and assertively and accept to other’s response.
3. I love and accept the other exactly as he is.
4. I feel unity with others even if we are unable to communicate verbally.

SITUATION NO. 45

I HAVE MADE MANY ATTEMPTS TO EMPLOY A DISCIPLINE (EXERCISES, PROPER DIET, MEDITATION, TO WAKE UP EARLY, BEING ON TIME AT APPOINTMENTS ETC.) AND HAVE FAILED EACH TIME. I FEEL A FAILURE, WEAK, GUILTY, ANGRY AT MY SELF AND AT OTHER TIMES DEPRIVATION OF THAT WHICH I WANT OR A FEELING OF DEPRESSION THAT I AM LIMITED AND CONFINED.

LESSONS:
1. That I am free to do whatever I want to do with my life.
2. That I am not a better person if I am able to employ a discipline, and neither does God love me more.
3. That I am not limited by any discipline but actually freer from my needs, desires and weaknesses. That discipline is a basic path towards real freedom.
4. To approach this discipline as an adult who sees the value that it has for me, because I see as an intelligent thing to do.
5. To get free from the role of the child and parent with myself. The parent says I must do this, the child feels suppressed and reacts. The ‘parent’ rejects the child and so on.
6. To love and accept myself exactly as I am and do this discipline because I want to and not because then I will like myself better.
7. To avoid doing disciplines to please others, to do them because I realise that they are intelligent.
8. To think deeply about why I want to do this.
9. To accept others exactly as they are, whether they are disciplined or not.
10. To develop a deeper relationship with God.
11. To free myself from guilt.
12. To realise that when someone reacts, that he is not really free but is limited to the need to react.
13. To free myself from past experiences in which I have felt controlled (or danger of being controlled) by others.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I am God’s child and am lovable exactly as I am.
2. My real freedom is my freedom from my addictions, fears sand weaknesses and reactions.
3. I have all the power within me to do whatever I decide.
4. My self worth is not dependent on what I do or not, but on who I am.

SITUATION NO. 46

I WANT TO WRITE SO AS TO ANALYSE MY SELF AND PROCEED IN MY KNOWLEDGE OF MY SELF BUT I ALWAYS PROCRASTINATE AND FEEL BLOCKED. I FEEL FRUSTRATED, PRESSURED THAT I MUST WRITE, GUILT THAT I CANNOT; ANGRY THAT OTHERS ARE FORCING ME TOO, AND FEAR THAT SOME ELSE MIGHT READ IT.

LESSONS:
1. To realise that I am free to write or not. No one will love me more or less if I write or not.
2. To free myself from any negative experiences with writing at school or at home.
3. To discover why I have decided that I want to learn more about myself.
4. To sit down and wait patiently for some thoughts to come and to write them down.
5. To free myself from the belief that others are forcing me to do something and to clarify whether I want to do it or not.
6. To accept and love myself exactly as I am whether I write or not.
7. To realise that I am the sole creator of my reality and that I do not need to answer to the others about what I do.
8. To learn to push myself at times when my defence mechanisms block me from going within.
9. To analyse and realise the importance of writing.
10. To give it a try and see what happens.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I am acceptable and lovable regardless of whether I write or not.
2. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by writing.
3. My goal is self-knowledge and writing will help me.
4. I am free to act as I like in my own best interests.
5. No one can make me do something unless I want something from them.

SITUATION NO. 47

I HAVE OBSESSIONAL THOUGHTS WHICH COME INTO MY MIND (SEXUAL, FEAR, OF DOING HARM TO OTHERS,ABOUT WHAT OTHERS HAVE DONE TO ME) AND CANNOT CONTROL THEM. I FEEL HELPLESS, FEARFUL, SOMETIMES PANIC, CONTROLLED, CONFUSED AND GUILTY.

LESSONS:
1. To realise that I am not my thoughts and that these are the products of old programmings and beliefs which are produced mechanically in my mind and have nothing to do with me – my true self.
2. To witness them indifferently and not fight them or try to obstruct them.
3. To offer them to God.
4. To bless them with divine light.
5. To do some regressions to see if I can find our from what past experiences they are coming.
6. To have more important things to do; to be occupied with creating, working and serving.
7. To develop greater faith in God.
8. To rid myself of conscious and subconscious guilt.
9. To realise that I am God’s creation and that I can never in any circumstance be unloved by Him.
10. To accept and love myself in all situations, even when I have these thoughts.
11. To forgive others for any mistakes which they have made in the past.
12. To love and accept others as they are.
13. To find a meaning in life which makes me feel fulfilled.
14. To employ various techniques for increasing the vitality of the body and the mind.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I am not my mind and my thoughts. They are temporary waves passing through my eternal and unlimited consciousness.
2. I am God’s beloved child in all cases, no matter what I do.
3. I love and accept myself in all situations.
4. I am the master of my mind and can control what goes on there.
5. I command all thoughts to be still and realise that ‘I am God’.

SITUATION NO. 48
I HAVE TO CHOSE BETWEEN WHAT I BELIEVE IS ETHICAL AND WHAT I BELIEVE IS NECESSARY FOR MY ECONOMIC ( OR SOCIAL OR PROFESSIONAL) SURVIVAL (FOR MYSELF OR FOR MY FAMILY). I FEEL CONFUSED, IN CONFLICT, GUILTY, FEARFUL AND IN DANGER.

LESSONS:
1. To realise that I am always safe in all situations, especially if I act according to the ethical codes established for our harmony with the universe.
2. To have the courage to do what is right and leave the results up to God.
3. To accept and love myself whatever I do.
4. To free myself from childhood conditioning which makes me feel insecure.
5. To free myself from the need for acceptance from the others.
6. To search inwardly and discover my own true values.
7. To be true to my self and not to what others expect of me.
8. To develop a deeper relationship with God.
9. To realise that I am loved by God, no matter what I do.
10. To realise that I am a cell in the body of society and that my every action affects the quality of that society.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I am acceptable and lovable whatever I do.
2. I am secure and safe whatever I do.
3. I am protected by the truth when live by it.
4. I act according to my inner conscience and leave the results to God.
5. My security is a divine matter not a matter of what I do with my will.
6. I am an immortal soul, which can never suffer harm.

SITUATION NO. 49

I AM A PERFECTIONIST AND THIS COSTS ME MUCH ENERGY, TIME AND CREATES MUCH ANXIETY AND CONFLICT WITH OTHERS. I FEEL ANXIETY, FEAR AND DANGER CONCERNING THE RESULTS OF MY EFFORTS AND CONFLICT WITH OTHERS AS THEY MAY PERHAPS SPOIL THE ‘RESULTS’, AND AS WELL, FEAR CONCERNING WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK ABOUT ME.

LESSONS:
1. That my worth as a person is not dependent upon the results of my efforts or what others think about me.
2. That I am not more lovable in God’s eyes because I have done more , or done it more perfectly.
3. To accept myself exactly as I am.
4. To accept and love others exactly as they are.
5. To realise that the results of any effort are produced by many factors, one of which is my effort.
6. To offer all the results up to God.
7. To discontinue measuring my self in relationship to the others.
8. To make time for relaxation and reflection in my life.
9. To free myself from past experiences which may have programed these feelings in me.
10. To see myself and all others as immortal souls in the process of evolution who are learning through every experience.

KEYS TO FREEDOM:
1. I accept and love myself exactly as I am in every moment regardless of the results of my efforts.
2. My self worth is absolute and does not change because of what I do or what others think.
3. I offer all results of all efforts to God.
4. I love and accept others exactly as they are.

Questionnaire – Clarifying Emotions

Questionnaire – Clarifying Emotions

CLARIFYING EMOTIONS

You have an emotion which is limiting your peace, happiness or love. You want to understand where it is coming from and how to deal with. We methodically ask you the appropriate questions which guide you into a deeper understanding of how that emotion is created and how you might deal with it and free your self from it.

QUESTIONS CONCERNING YOUR PRESENT GOAL OF EMOTIONAL CLARITY
You may want to read or download the text: HOW OUR EMOTIONS ARE CREATED from the Life Clarification Capsules, so as to be able to answer these questions more effectively.

1. MY EMOTIONS

I would like to understand and deal with the following emotions. (You can check them off on the list and add your own.)

FEAR
GUILT
HURT
PAIN
ANGER
ABUSED
WORRY
DISILLUSIONMENT
DISCOURAGEMENT
REJECTION
ANXIETY
DEMEANED
INSECURITY
HATE
DEPRESSION
FRUSTRATION
LONELINESS
BITTERNESS
JEALOUSY
ENVY
UNWORTHY
RAGE
SELF REJECTION
SELF DOUBT
SHAME
INJUSTICE
MISUNDERSTOOD
ABANDONMENT
OTHERS

2. CHOOSING AN EMOTION

Which emotion would you like to work with first? (Suggestion: anger, hate and rage are usually second level emotions, which we feel because we are already feeling fear, pain or guilt. We suggest that you start out with emotions concerning pain or guilt and move on to those which encompass anger. It is, however, your choice).

I would like to start out with the emotion:

3. THE STIMULI:

Make a list of the “stimuli”; moments, events, behaviors and situations where you have felt this chosen emotion in the past. You may find that you have felt differently towards the same event, behavior or situation depending on various factors (ie. the persons, place, your own inner state). We will investigate those factors in the future. For the time being, include in your list all moments in which at least once you have felt the above emotion. You can select from the following list and also add your own:

1. When others do not agree with me.
2. When they do not understand me.
3. When they obstruct me from satisfying my needs.
(A need could be physical, practical, psychological, or even spiritual)
a. For physical needs such as sleep, food, sex, rest
b. Practical and safety needs such as a home, money, professional success
c. For emotional needs such as love, acceptance, approval, self affirmation, attention
d. Mental and spiritual needs such as to study, meditate, worship in my own way
4. When they do not respect me.
5. When they think they are superior.
6. When they try to control me or suppress me.
7. When they criticize me.
8. When they tell lies or gossip about me.
9. When they harm me or someone close to me.
10. When they have evil intentions or ulterior motives.
11. When they are negative, complaining, whining, criticizing etc.
12. When they think they know it all.
13. When they give me advice I have not asked for.
14. When they play the role of the victim, the poor me and want attention.
15. When they do not take care of themselves or do not carry their load.
16. When they make mistakes
17. When they do not keep their word or appointments.
18. When they are weak and dependent
19. When they act in an egotistical and selfish way, disregarding our or others’ needs
20. When they use me or others.
21. When they are cold and insensitive
22. When they are not responsible to their word or responsibilities
23. When they are lazy
24. When they ignore my needs
25. When they reject me.
26. When I make mistakes or do not succeed at some endeavor
27. When I do not live up to my conscience.
28. When I think of the past
29. When I think of the future
My future
My loved ones’ future

Other reasons:

4. My greatest source of tension / emotional disturbance is:

Family
Work
Health
Money
Friends
Love Relationship
A specific event which I am dealing with. Explain in no. 5

5. Other information which you would like to briefly share with us: (We will have an opportunity to go into more detail in future communications)

Questionnaire –  Resolving Inner Conflicts

Questionnaire – Resolving Inner Conflicts

QUESTIONS CONCERNING YOUR PRESENT
GOAL OF RESOLVING INNER CONFLICTS
You may want to read or download the text: RECONCILING OUR INNER CONFLICTS from the Life Clarification Capsules, so as to be able to answer these questions more effectively.

1. MY CONFLICTS

I would like to understand and deal with my inner conflict(s) concerning: Select the any of the conflicts below which have concerned you over the years. You can select as many as you like.

1. One part of me feels I need to spend more time on my professional life while another part believes that I should be spending more time with my family.
2. On the one hand, a part of myself wants to open up to a conscious love relationship, while another part fears being abandoned or hurt, suppressed, manipulated, or not being able to say no.
3. My need to follow my inner voice, in some cases, conflicts with my need to be like the others and be accepted by them.
4. My need to express my true feelings sometimes conflicts with my need not to hurt anyone.
5. My need to express my real feelings and thoughts occasionally clashes with my need to have others’ acceptance.
6. One part of myself wants to give those around me (children, spouse, friends) total freedom to pursue their happiness in their own ways, and another part fears losing control.
7. A part of me wants to please others, but their needs come into direct conflict with my own needs.
8. I want to forgive but also need to hold on to negative feelings towards someone.
9. I want to employ various disciplines but another part of me wants to feel free to do what I want when I want to.
10. I want others to support me, but on the other, I feel that they restrict me with their support or advice.
11. One part of me wants spiritual growth, while another feels the need for material security.
12. I want to help a loved one or friend, but on the other, I feel that perhaps I am doing them harm by bailing them out continuously and not letting them solve their own problems.
13. I feel a need to protect the planet through a simple life with very little consumption of energy and products, while another part of me wants to enjoy all the comforts of an energy consuming, pollution producing life style.
14. I want to take a job, or leave a job that I have, while another part of me wants the opposite for different reasons.
15. One part of me believes in cooperating with others, while another finds it difficult.
16. I desire various objects or situations as a source of pleasure. Another part of me, however, feels that this is:

a. a sin,
b. or that I am not spiritual if I partake in such pleasures.
c. a waste of time and energy considering my spiritual goals.
Thus these two aspects of my own being conflict.

17. One part of myself feels the need to have an exclusive relationship, in which my happiness and security depend on a member of the opposite sex. Another part of myself finds this an obstacle towards my need for independence, self dependence, and freedom.
18. I need to control persons and situations in order to feel secure and yet would like to let things flow and allow others to act freely.
19. My need to never show weakness comes into conflict with my need to share my weaknesses, needs and fears with someone.
20. One part me does not want not to ask anything from anyone while another needs their help and support.
21. A part of me needs a stable routine for my balance, health and growth while another enjoys variety and change.
22. A part of me wants to play my familiar emotional relationship games while another part wants to get free from them.
23. One part of me wants to face and overcome my fears and blockages while another prefers to avoid them and hide from them.

OTHERS, LIST HERE

2. CHOOSING A CONFLICT

Which conflict would you like to work with first.
(Suggestion: Choose one which is bothering you most at this time of your life. I would like to start out with the conflict concerning:

3. NAMING THE PARTS

Now you will have to decide on a name for each part of yourself which is in conflict. The names should represent each separate aspect and also be like a nickname which would allow you to express love and acceptance to both parts of your self. (ex. Mr. Discipline and Mr. Rebel. or the Lover and the Loner, or The Parent and the Professional.)

What will you call these two aspects of your being?
A.
B.

4. THE ANALYSIS

Now, separately, for each conflicting part of yourself, answer the following questions.

PART A

A1. It has the following needs: (click for a list of possible needs to choose from)

A2. When its needs are not fulfilled, it has the following emotions: (click for a list of possible emotions to choose from):

A3. It has the following beliefs which cause it to have those needs and emotions. (Click for a list of possible beliefs to choose from). If you cannot determine the beliefs, send this in without answering this question and we will help you in the process.

PART B:

B1. It has the following needs: (click for a list of possible needs to choose from)

B2. When its needs are not fulfilled, it has the following emotion: (click for a list of possible emotions to choose from):

B3. It has the following beliefs which cause it to have those needs and emotions. (Click for a list of possible beliefs to choose from). If you cannot determine the beliefs, send this in without answering this question and we will help you in the process.

5. I personally feel towards the part of me labeled “A” the following feelings:

6. I personally feel towards the part of me labeled “B” the following feelings:

Questionnaire – Making Decisions

Questionnaire – Making Decisions

QUESTIONS CONCERNING YOUR PRESENT
GOAL OF MAKING DECISIONS
1. THE ISSUE

The decision I would like to make concerns the following issue:

2. MY OPTIONS

As far as I can see me options are:

Option A:

A1: The positive aspects of this option are:

A2: The negative aspects of this option are:

A3: I feel the following emotions about this option:

Option B:

B1: The positive aspects of this option are:

B2: The negative aspects of this option are:

B3: I feel the following emotions about this option:

Option C:

C1: The positive aspects of this option are:

C2: The negative aspects of this option are:

C3: I feel the following emotions about this option:

Option D:

D1:The positive aspects of this option are:

D2: The negative aspects of this option are:

D3: feel the following emotions about this option:

Option E:

E1: The positive aspects of this option are:

E2: The negative aspects of this option are:

E3: I feel the following emotions about this option:

Questionnaire – About Solving Problems

Questionnaire – About Solving Problems

QUESTIONS CONCERNING YOUR PRESENT GOAL OF SOLVING PROBLEMS OR CREATING SOMETHING
1. THE ISSUE

The problem I want to solve or what I want to create is:

2. MY NEEDS

My needs and motivation here are the following. I want to solve this problem or create the above mentioned because:

3. I AM LIMITED BY THE FOLLOWING EXTERNAL FACTORS

4. I AM LIMITED BY THE FOLLOWING INNER BLOCKAGES

5. MY TIME LIMIT FOR SOLVING THIS PROBLEM IS

6. THE OPTIONS WHICH I HAVE THOUGH OF UNTIL NOW ARE

Option A

A1:The positive aspects of this option are:

A2: The negative aspects of this option are:

A3: I feel the following emotions about this option:

Option B

B1:The positive aspects of this option are:

B2: The negative aspects of this option are:

B3: I feel the following emotions about this option:

Option C

C1:The positive aspects of this option are:

C2: The negative aspects of this option are:

C3: I feel the following emotions about this option:

Option D

D1:The positive aspects of this option are:

D2: The negative aspects of this option are:

D3: I feel the following emotions about this option:

Option E

E1:The positive aspects of this option are:

E2: The negative aspects of this option are:

E3: I feel the following emotions about this option:

LIST OF POSSIBLE BELIEFS OR “FALSE CHILDHOOD CONCLUSIONS”

LIST OF POSSIBLE BELIEFS OR “FALSE CHILDHOOD CONCLUSIONS”

LIST OF POSSIBLE BELIEFS OR “FALSE CHILDHOOD CONCLUSIONS” RESULTING FROM CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES

a. Perhaps the beliefs you are searching for are expressed somewhat differently than  in the phrases below.
b. Some phrases may seem more correct in another person, for example you or he or she.
c. Give time to yourself to search deeply inside you so you may see if there is still a small part of yourself that believes or feels what is here expressed.
d.  The numbers after the beliefs refer to the list of childhood experiences that could make someone form such beliefs.
BELIEFS – CHILDHOOD CONCLUSIONS
1. I’m unworthy, no matter what I do. (1,2)
2. I’m unworthy when I’m scolded, rejected, accused or when others are angry at me. (1,2)
3. I’m in danger when others are angry at me, when they scold, accuse or reject me. (1,2)
4. People don’t love me. (1,2)
5. People are aggressive. (1,2)
6. I’m responsible for the misery of others. (1,2)
7. I’m bad, evil. (1)
8. I’m alone in life. (1,2,3,6,7,8)
9. I am unprotected, vulnerable, in danger. (1,2,3)
10. No one wants to be with me. (1,2,3)
11. I’m not worthy of a permanent, steady relationship – I will be abandoned. (3)
12. There is no steady support, friendship, love in this world, or, if there is, I cannot have it or I    am not worthy of it. (1,2,3)
13. I am unworthy of affection, tenderness or expression of love. (1,3,4)
14. I am and will be treated unjustly. There is no justice. (1,3,4)
15. I cannot have what I want or what I need. (4)
16. I must not ask for what I need. (4)
17. The human body is weak and vulnerable to illness and pain. (5)
18. I’m in danger of getting sick, feeling pain, or dying. (5)
20. It’s my fault when someone close to me is ill. (5)
21. I have no right to be happy or in a good mood when others are sick. (5)
22. Illness shows weakness and I must not get sick so as not to show weakness. (5)
23. My selfworth is measured in relation to how I compare with others. (6,17)
24. Others  accept me  and want me only if they believe me to be strong and superior. (6,17)
25. Without others I’m unworthy and insecure. (6,17)
26. I must prove my worth in comparison to the others. (7,17)
27. Others don’t love me enough to stay with me. (3,8)
28. It’s my fault when someone close to me  dies. I’m guilty. (8)
29. I didn’t treat someone right before he died. I’m guilty. (3,8)
30. I cannot trust men (women). (1,3,8,9,10)
31. Those of the opposite sex want me only for my body. (9,10)
32. I’m guilty because I let  it happen. (9)
33. I’m in danger of men  women). (1,9,10)
34. Sex is violence. (9,10)
35. The sexual act is violent and causes pain. (9,10)
36. The sexual act is a compulsory act that to which one is submited by his companion. (9,10)
37. The sexual act is dirty and brutal. (9,10)
38. I must definitely repay others what they have given me. (11,12)
39. I don’t want to receive anything from anyone because then I’ll be indebted to them. I will not be free. (11,12)
40. I am always obligated to others no matter what I do. (11,12)
41. I must sacrifice what I believe in and want, in order to satisfy my parents (or others). (11,12)
42. The others are obliged to me for what I do for them. (11,12)
43. I’ m guilty because I have taken more than I have given (12)
44. I ‘m guilty (responsible) for the others’ reality (for their health, peace, success etc. (1,12,18)
45. I’m unworthy when those around me (especially children, companion, parents, brothers or sisters, friends) are not well. I am unsuccessful in my role. (11,18)
46. I have no right to be well, happy, in a good mood or to rest when others have problems or are not well. (11,12,18)
47. Others are responsible for my unhappiness, illness, failure. (11,12,18)
48. I must save others and the world. People are incapable of doing it themselves. (11,12,18)
49. Others don’t know, they must listen to me. I must solve their problems. (11,12,18)
50. I cannot have confidence in others to do things because they might make mistakes. (11,12,18)
51. If I don’t do it, no one will. (11,12,18)
52. I am treated unjustly because I always help and sacrifice myself for others, but they don’t help me when I need help. (11,12,18)
53. I must be always strong, must never show weakness or ask for help. (11,12,18)
54. Others must understand and respond to my needs without my expressing them (perhaps as I do to them). (11,12,18)
55. I am incapable. (11,12,13)
56. I am lazy. (13)
57. I’m not intelligent. (13)
58. I will be unable to succeed in my purpose. (12)
59. I must prove my selfworth to the others. (11,12,13)
60. I will never be able to prove my worth to the others. (13)
61. I am bad, dirty and guilty because I have sexual drives, feelings or needs. (14)
62. I am unworthy of God’s love. (1,3,4,5,7,8,9,11,12,13,14,22, 25)
63. I am a sinner, and God does not love me. (14,15)
64. God will punish me in life. Bad things will  definitely happen. (14,15)
65. Things cannot be always pleasant. (14,15)
66. Teachers and people of authority want to oppress me, to make me feel inferior, hurt me. (16)
67. I am in danger of being controlled by those in positions of power. (1,2,16)
68. We must fight authority. (1,16)
69. Others will laugh at me,  make fun of me. (16)
70. Others cannot be trusted. (1,3,6,7,17)
71. I must be better than the others in order to be worthy, loved and secure. (19a)
72. I must excel to be worthy. (19b, 19c)
73. I must be perfect, without faults. (19c)
74. I must not show weakness. (19c)
75. I must be more intelligent and informed than the others so that I may be worthy and accepted. (19d)
76. I must be handsome/beautiful (in order to be accepted). (19e)
77. I must have beautiful and new clothes, and to improve my appearance in different ways so that others may accept and love me. (19e)
78. My home (car, clothes etc.) must be absolutely clean and orderly so that I may be worthy. (19f)
79. I can’t relax unless everything is in order and clean. (19f)
80. Others must help me to keep things in order and clean. (19f)
81. Others are dirty and incapable. (19f)
82. I must be desired by many women (men) in order to be worthy. (19g)
83. I cannot trust my companion, he will deceive me (cheat on me). (19g)
84. Without financial and/or social success and recognition, I will not be worthy in the eyes of others. They will not pay attention to me, nor will they have esteem for me. (19h)
85. I must be happier than others to be worthy. (19h)
86. My worth depends on the opinion of the others. If they don’t accept me, I am not worthy. I must have their acceptance. (19i)
87. I am worthy only if I do a lot of things (or more than the others do). (19j)
88. I must satisfy others. They must be satisfied with me in order to be worthy. (19k)
89. I cannot say “no” to others, I will lose their love. They won’t want me. (19l)
90. I must not express my needs because: (19m)
a. I don’t have the right to.
b. The others don’t reciprocate.
c. It’s a sin.
d. I will be hurt.
91. I am incapable to think, to decide for myself. I must find someone to tell me what to do. (20)
92. I am incapable to face life’s difficulties, I must find someone to help me. (20)
93. If I become sick, they won’t ask me to have take on any responsibilities. (20)
94. It’s my parents’ fault that my life is a failure. (20)
95. I must become like my parents (or others). I must be equally perfect, dynamic, successful,    in order to be worthy and accept myself. (21)
96. I will never be able to measure up to my parents, I am unworthy. It’s better if I destroy myself. (21)
97. I reject the status quo and all this deception called success. I reject the system, I don’t want to belong to it. (21)
98. Those who are successful are unjust to the less fortunate. We must fight injustice. (21)
99. I cannot trust others (men, women, people around me) because at some point they will insult me. (21)
100. I am not worthy of respect and love. (1,22)
101. I am a mistake. (1,22)
102. My feelings don’t count. (1,22)
103. I am afraid of authority (parent, teacher, companion, people in charge). I will be hurt. (1,22)
104. I am afraid of a close relationship, I will be hurt. I’m in danger. (1,22)
105. I am afraid of criticism and aggressiveness. I’m in danger. (1,22)
106. Others will take advantage of me. (1,22)
107. I must not express my needs, nobody will listen, I will be hurt. (1,22)
108. I must not show my feelings. I must not show pain. (1,6,18,22)
109. My parent is not (was not) right. He is unworthy. He is unjust. (1,22,23)
110. Since my parent is unworthy, I am too. (1,22,23)
111. I am ashamed of my parents and myself. (1,22,23)
112. I don’t want to be like my father (mother). I don’t want to have the same weakness and to    make the same mistakes. (1,22,23)
113. God does not love me unconditionally. He gets angry at my faults, He will punish me. (15,25)
114. Something bad will happen to me. (I will get sick, my children will get sick and die. I will die, I will go mad(. (15,25)
115. People are double faced. They show one things but they think another and they do even another still. (22,26)
116. I am in danger of men, I cannot trust them. (1,22,26)
117. People are evil and want to use me . They want something of me. (26)
118. I must not rely on others, they will not be consistent and I will be hurt. (22,26)
119. I must not be truthful, otherwise I will lose in my transactions with other people. (26)
120. I must not show my true feelings. (26)
121. I am unworthy of, or cannot have, truthfulness from other people. (22,26)
122. I am not safe without enough money. (27)
123. I am not safe without other people’s acceptance. (27)
124. Without education I am not safe in this world. My child is not safe without education. (27)
125. Without family support ,I’m not safe. (3,27)
126. Without wealth I am not safe, nor are my children. (3,27)
127. Without a companion I am not safe. (27)
128. Without _________ I am not safe. (27)
129. I ‘m in general in danger. (1,3,8,22,27)
130. They must give me what I want when I want it – otherwise they don’t love me and then I’m not worthy. (28)
131. If they don’t give me what I want, I am not worthy and I am in danger. (28)
132. I cannot cope by myself, I need the others to give me what I need. (28)
133. I am a girl (woman) and so (30)
a. I’m worth less (or not at all).
b. I have fewer rights.
c. I am weak.
d. I am not safe without a man.
e. I must have a husband in order to be socially accepted.
f. I must not like sex.
g. I am incapable to deal with (machines, money, heavy work, “a man’s business”, with life in general).
h. My only reason to exist is only to serve my family. Otherwise I have no purpose.
i. My worth is valued by my appearance.
j. My worth is valued according to my children’s health, happiness, success.
k. I must submit to my husband (perhaps also to my children) and I must not express my own needs, feelings, opinions.
l. They won’t respect me no matter what I do.
m. I must not show that I’m worth as much as (or more than) men.
n. I must be (become) strong like a man in order to succeed in a man’s world, in order to be accepted and be worthy.
o. Men are my enemies and I must compete with them.
p. A man, with his behavior, will show me whether I am worthy or not.
134. I am a boy (man) and so (31) (ONLY FOR MEN)
a. I must be strong. I must not show weakness.
b. If I show weakness I won’t be accepted. I won’t be worthy.
c. I must be stronger than my wife. (More clever, able, successful etc.)
d. I must be wanted / desired by many women in order to be worthy.
e. My happiness is found in a woman.
f. A woman, by her behavior, will determine my selfworth.
g. My selfworth is valued according to my professional success (by comparison to the others in my circle).
h. My selfworth is measured according to how much money I have and how much wealth amass.
i. I must never cry.
j. I must not show a lot of feeling, tenderness or affection.
k. Illness is weakness. I must not get sick. I will be rejected.
l. My wife and children must obey me.
135. Without chemical substances I cannot face life (be calm, free).
a) Alcohol, b) Various types of food, c) cigarettes, d) hashish, e) drugs, f) coffee, g) sweets, h) chocolate etc. (22,25,29).
136. Without sex or love I cannot feel well (9,10,14,25,29,30,31)
137. Without travelling I cannot feel well (free). (29)
138.j They want to repress me, to restrict me. (29)
139. I must fight for my freedom. (29)
140. I must not allow any possible activity take place without personal participation. Otherwise I will miss something important. I won’t be free. (16,29)
141. I have no right to spend time
a. for myself
b. for my relaxation
c. for my health or development.
It is selfish. (11,12,13,15,18,19,21,25,30,31)
142. I can feel happy, secure and worthy only with this particular person, thing, situation, substance, activity. Nothing else will help me feel well. Not even something similar. (1,3,4,8,9,13,15,16,17,19,20,21,22,23,25,27,28,29,30,31)
143. If I don’t succeed in this particular endeavour, I will be unworthy and unhappy. (1,2,6,7,11,12,13,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,23,25,27,29,30,31)
SOME BELIEFS WHICH LEAD TO THE ROLE OF THE SELF – RIGHTEOUS- “GOOD” PERSON
144. I will be accepted only if I am right, good, in their eyes.
145. I must do what the others consider correct and good so that I might have their approval.
146. A good, correct (upstanding) person is worth more than the others.
147. Only if I am superior I am worthy.
148. If I am unworthy, then the others won’t want me, I will be alone and unsafe because I won’t even have God’s protection. If I am unworthy, I am in danger.

CERTAIN CONVICTIONS THAT LEAD TO THE WAY OF PERFECTION, STRENGTH
149. I am worthy and safe only if I am strong, able, perfect.
150. If my weaknesses (faults) show:
a. I will be rejected, humiliated, ridiculed. I will lose people’s respect, esteem, love.
b. I will be deserted.
c. I will be taken advantage of.
d. I will be dominated, controlled and I will lose my freedom.
151. He who has weaknesses:
a. Is unworthy.
b. Is vulnerable and he will be hurt, he will be made to suffer by others and by life in general.
152. Life is difficult, hard and there is no protection, no compassion. I must be strong to survive.
153. I am the only strength in my life.
154. Other people are incapable for doing anything right. I cannot rely on them. They ‘re going to mess up things.
155. My strength, ability and perfection are measured according to the results of my efforts (not by the effort or motives so much).
156. Man is worthy according to his abilities and achievements.
157. In order to be worthy, I must do everything to perfection.
CONVICTIONS THAT LEAD TO THE ROLE OF VICTIM
158. Other people are responsible for my reality, my problems, my happiness, my unhappiness, my health, my illness.
159. I have been treated unjustly by other people, by life, by God.
160. I am unworthy of something better. I cannot have anything better.
161. As long as I am treated unjustly, then I’m JUSTIFIED because the others are unjust. As long as I am treated unjustly, then I am upstanding and am worthy.
162. I cannot protect myself from others. If I clash, I will be wounded and hurt. Better to yield, to repress myself, to sacrifice myself.
163. I am responsible for other people’s reality. Therefore I must sacrifice myself for them.
164. I am an inferior being and I haven’t the right to express my needs, my feelings, my convictions.
165. If I don’t comply, I will be hurt.
166. I’m incapable to face life on my own. I need other people. Thus I must submit to the injustice in order that they don’t find me out.
167. I am guilty and not worthy of anything better.
168. I’m a woman and it is my role to sacrifice myself.
CONVICTIONS THAT LEAD TO THE ROLE OF THE WEAK, THE INCAPABLE, THE CHILD
169. I am incapable to face the difficulties of life.
170. I am not capable enough to satisfy my parents’ demands, to fulfill the plans they have for me.
171. I won’t be accepted, I won’t be loved if I try and don’t succeed. Better not to take a chance.
172. Life is difficult and dangerous.
173. I need my parents (companion, brother etc.) in order to feel secure. Without them I am in danger.
174. I am weak, without enough intelligence or abilities or  talents. I have no qualifications. I am unworthy and will not succeed.
175. I do not have enough discrimination to make decisions. I need other people to tell me what to do.
176. If I grow up and take responsibility for my life:
a. I will lose my purity. Grown ups are bad and immoral. God will not love me.
b. I will fail.
c. No one will pay attention to me.
d. I will get tired. I will be inconvenienced.
CONVICTIONS THAT LEAD TO THE ROLE OF BEING GUILTY, UNDESERVING, BAD, SINFUL
177. I am guilty, bad and unworthy because:
a. I have committed a sin which is …..
b. Other people have not given me love and affection and this proves I am worthless.
c. Other people have told me I am worthless.
d. Other people have deserted me (or they died), which means that I am unworthy (or unloved), or that it was God’s punishment.
e. I have not succeeded to become perfect.
f. I did not succeed to satisfy others.
g. I did not succeed to protect other people and to create for them a reality without problems (at one time brothers/sisters, now perhaps children, companion, parents).
h. I belong to an inferior race, religion, social clan.
i. I am not intelligent, capable, successful.
j. God does not love me (my parents, my grandparents told me so).
178. He who makes mistakes is guilty, sinful.
179. God does not forgive. He hates and punishes sinners. My faults cannot be forgiven.
180. He who makes mistakes is not worth having a good life (health, happiness, success, respect from others).
181. I am responsible for other people’s reality, and I am guilty when they are not happy and satisfied.
182. I am guilty when others criticise me or scold me or have a “long” face or don’t want me.
183. I am guilty when others don’t trust me.
184. I feel guilty when I don’t succeed in my purposes.
185. I am guilty because:
a. I eat too much. b. I smoke. c. I drink alcohol. d. I don’t work enough.
e. My children have problems. f. Others are not pleased with me.
g. I don’t do my best (i.e., I never say “no”). h. I don’t help as much as I could.
i. I have sexual drives.
j. Other.
186. I am guilty, no matter what I do.
187. I don’t have the right to have others respect my needs.
188. I will be punished. Something bad will happen to me or to my family.
189. All the other people are good. I am inferior.
190. I must do a great deal, more than the others, in order to be worthy.
191. When I am criticised or others raise their voice, it means I am worthless.
192. I must be perfect (in cleanliness, orderliness, appearance) in order to be worthy of love and acceptance.
193. I am selfish.
194. I don’t have the right to ask for anyone’s help.
195. No one can love me.
196. I will get sick. I will die.
197. I don’t have the right to say “no”.
CONVICTIONS THAT LEAD TO THE ROLE OF PARENT, TEACHER, SAVIOUR, PERSON-IN-CHARGE
198. I am responsible for other people:
For
a. their health
b. their happiness
c. their success
d. their harmony
e. their development
f. their security
g. Anything that happens to them.
199. If I do not create a perfect reality (as above) for them, I have failed in my role and I am worthless.
200. If others are not pleased with me, I have  failed and I am worthless.
201. If others don’t trust me, I am worthless in my role.
202. If others don’t listen to me, don’t obey me, don’t carry out my instructions, don’t follow my advice, then I am inefficient in my role and I am worthless.
203. If I am unworthy in my role, I will not have others’ esteem and consideration. I will be left alone, I am in danger.
204. If I don’t control everything around me, something might go wrong. I cannot depend on others. If I am not in control, then I am in danger.
205. If I show weakness, need or faults:
a. I will be rejected. I will be unwanted, I will be in danger.
b. They will use this knowledge of my weaknesses in order to hurt me. I will be in danger.
206. I am worthy only when I am in a superior position, i.e., teacher, saviour, parent. Only then I   am secure.
207. If others need me (as teacher, saviour, parent), they won’t abandon me. I will not be left alone.
208. When alone, I am in danger.
209. If others need me, they will love me, they will give me what I need to have from them (tenderness, affection, love – and certainly respect etc.).
210. In this role, I can control things.
CONVICTIONS WHICH LEAD TO THE ROLE OF A REVOLUTIONARY, REACTIONARY, ANTAGONIST
211. I am in danger from society, parents, teachers, authorities.
212. I may lose
a. my freedom
b. my dignity
c. my worth
d. my security
213. Others may do me wrong, may wound me, may humiliate me.
214. I am weak, impotent, vulnerable. I will not succeed in this society
a. to achieve anything
b. to protect myself
c. to be happy
215. I need others’ approval, I am worthless and unsafe without their approval and assistance.
216. I am not intelligent. I don’t possess the internal wisdom, worth and power in order to live my life without other people.
217. I am in danger when they disagree with me because
a. perhaps I am wrong
b. I need them
c. they may reprove me, and I will be hurt.
218. If I don’t react and go against them, they will think they are right and so I will lose my hts and my power.
219. I’ll show them. I will destroy myself and they will worry. They will feel guilty.
220. When they agree with me, then I’m right. Then I am worthy and secure.
221. I must fight for my  freedom and justice.
222. Other people don’t love me and I must protect myself from them.
223. If I don’t fight I will perish. I am in danger.
224. If I admit they’ re right when I perceive them to be, they will use the fact on other occasions against me.
225. People are hypocrites. They are two-faced. I cannot trust them. I am in danger.
226. I will never achieve success. Better not participate. Better to reject the entire game of    success.
227. I’m a girl (woman) and I must protect my rights in a man’s world.
228. I am a victim of racism and I must protect myself.
CONVICTIONS THAT LEAD TO THE ROLE OF SOMEONE INTELLIGENT, INFORMED, SUPERIOR, KNOWLEDGEABLE, COUNSELLOR.
229. My worth is measured according to my mental ability.
230. My mind’s worth is measured according to:
a. How it compares to others.
b. How much information it possesses.
c. How fast it works.
d. If it’s right.
e. How much others think or show with their behavior that they believe it is worthy.
231. I am not sufficiently worthy, I don’t know enough. They will reject me.
232. I will be unwanted, I will be left alone, and then I’m in danger.
233. I must learn a great deal, I must cultivate my mind.
234. I must show others that my mind is worthwhile in order that they may accept me and love me. Then I will be safe.
235. If there is someone else who knows a great deal, they will love him more. I must show that  I know more than him. I must make him look inferior and I must exaggerate my selfworth.
236. I must never acknowledge that the other person is right. If I do, I will lose my superiority.
237. Life is difficult, and I am alone. I must be intelligent in order to survive.
238. It is only those who are intelligent that attract the love, attention and tenderness they need.
239. I owe it to my parents to become educated, to become accepted for my education and my knowledge.
240. I must prove my selfworth to others.
241. I am responsible for other people and so I must be intelligent (more intelligent).
242. If I am clever, I can protect myself from the exploitation and wickedness of others.
243. I don’t want to be like my parent.
CONVICTIONS LEADING TO THE ROLE OF A PERSON INDIFFERENT, IRRESPONSIBLE, FREE, MISCHIEVOUS, RUN-WAY
244. I am worthy as long as I achieve a great deal, as long as I am able.
245. I am worthy only when I have a lot of responsibilities and succeed in dealing with them.
246. I am worthless if I do not succeed because:
a. Life is difficult.
b. I’m not intelligent, capable, strong.
c. Others are more capable than I am.
d. I’m afraid of failure.
247. If I try and, then fail, I will be rejected and then I will be alone and in danger.
248. Better not to try. Better to pretend that it doesn’t interest me, that I reject this game.
249. I will tire and will suffer if I have responsibilities. If I do nothing, others will take over.
250. Others do things better than me.
251. I reject their superficial life and their stress.
252. Better not to play, than to play and lose.
253. If I become active, they won’t pay attention to me. They will think I don’t need them.
254. Responsibility brings criticism from others in connection with the result.
255. Since God punishes for mistakes, I won’t do anything and so I won’t make mistakes.
256. I don’t want to fail like my parents.
257. I can’t trust others.
258. I am a spoiled child, they must take care of me.
CONVICTIONS LEADING TO THE ROLE OF GENERAL, DICTATOR, AGGRESSOR, SLAYER
259. I am weak and worthless, I am in danger, my safety is in danger.
260. Life and people are hard and difficult. They will hurt me.
261. I must be hard, difficult and sometimes aggressive in order to
a. Have others’ esteem
b. Be superior
c. Keep people at a distance so they won’t hurt me.
262. I don’t want them to step all over me as they did on my father (or mother).
263. I’m alone in life. No one is interested in me. If I don’t take care of myself, no one will.
264. I, alone, am right. They must listen and obey me.
265. No one loves me. They didn’t give me the tenderness and love I needed. I must get back   at them.
266. Only the strong, the leader, is worthy and important.
267. I must keep them away so they won’t hurt me.
268. Since they look upon me as bad, evil, and abusive, I might as well be that way.
269. I am responsible for others. Unless I keep them in order with a little fear, we will have problems, I will not have control.
THE ROLE OF MALE OR FEMALE
270. I am a woman (man).
271. I am secure and I am worthy only if I succeed in this role.
272. I must have a companion in order to have worth and safety.
273. Companionship is the purpose of life and the basic meaning of life.
274. Companionship is difficult and I might get hurt because:
a. The other will not love me as I am.
b. The other will hurt me.
c. The other will abandon me.
275. I cannot let myself into a relationship because I will get hurt.
276. I am worthy when:
a. My companion loves me alone, exclusively.
b. The opposite sex desires me and admires me.
c. When I am better than the others.
d. I am wanted sexually.
277. A woman must sacrifice herself for her husband (must obey him).

 

LIST OF POSSIBLE EMOTIONS

LIST OF POSSIBLE EMOTIONS

LIST OF POSSIBLE EMOTIONS

DISCOURAGED
REJECTION
ANXIETY
DEMEANED
HURT
WORRY
DISILLUSIONMENT
INSECURITY
ABUSED
ANGER
HATE
DEPRESSION
FRUSTRATION
LONELINESS
BITTERNESS
JEALOUSY
ENVY
UNWORTHY
RAGE
SELF REJECTION
SELF DOUBT
SHAME
INJUSTICE
GUILT
ABANDONMENT
OTHER

LOVE
HAPPINESS
COMPASSION
UNDERSTANDING
AFFECTION
BROTHERLINESS
UNITY
SECURE
PEACEFUL
COURAGE
ENCOURAGEMENT
JOY
PATIENCE
GRATITUDE
ACCEPTANCE
RESPECT
FULFILMENT
FAITH
HOPE
PEACE
AFFIRMATION
RESPECT
SATISFACTION
PRIDE
ESTEEM

OTHER

1. WHICH EMOTIONS WOULD YOU LIKE TO FREE YOURSELF FROM?

2. WHICH ARE THE BELIEFS FROM WHICH THESE EMOTIONS FLOW FORTH?

3. HOW DO YOU REACT WHEN YOU FEEL THESE EMOTIONS?

LIST OF POSSIBLE NEEDS

LIST OF POSSIBLE NEEDS

LIST OF POSSIBLE NEEDS
Almost all of our needs are expressions of our basic needs to protect our:

a. Feelings of Security and Safety
b. Sense of Self Worth
c. Feeling of Freedom
d. Ability to satisfy our desires and pleasures
e. To love and be loved – to belong
f. To be recognized by the whole – power
g. To live a meaningful life
h. To evolve spiritually
i. Self Actualization
j. To unite with the world and God

The above mentioned basic needs might be expressed as some of the following:

1. To have the freedom to do what I like
2. To be disciplined
3. To create and express my self
4. To be responsible towards others
5. To be loving and caring
6. To satisfy my desires
7. To forgive
8. To have my rights respected
9. To evolve spiritually
10. To have plenty of money
11. To do work which has meaning for me
12. To have a deep meaningful relationship
13. To be in harmony with my conscience
14. To beloved as I am
15. To have free time
16. To be respected
17. For affection
18. For more open communication
19. To be left alone when not feeling well
20. To avoid contact with others
21. To go out more often.
22. To have time alone when feeling the need
23. For more rest
24. For more help with the chores
25. For more attention when talking
26. For a more peaceful environment
27. To be accepted exactly as I am
28. To do more things together.
29. For more freedom of movement and expression
30. For greater responsibility from others
31. For others to be on time
32. For more help and cooperation in keeping order and cleanliness
33. To be able to behave in the way I like in my home.
34. To be able to express my self honestly
35. To express my needs to others, and have them respected
36. To have revenge
37. To find inner peace

LIST OF POSSIBLE FEARS

LIST OF POSSIBLE FEARS

LIST OF POSSIBLE FEARS
FEAR IS OUR GREATEST OBSTACLE TOWARDS HAPPINESS, GROWTH, SUCCESS, PEACE OF MIND AND HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIPS. BEHIND EVERY NEGATIVE EMOTION THERE IS SOME HIDDEN FEAR. LET US SEARCH OUT THESE FEARS AND LIBERATE OURSELVES FROM THEM. REMEMBER THAT YOU MAY NOT CONSCIOUSLY FEEL A FEAR BUT THAT IT MAY A SUBCONSCIOUS FEAR – CHECK OUT YOUR INNER CHILD.

A FEAR CAN BE EXPRESSED AS A VARIETY OF EMOTIONS SUCH AS: INSECURITY, ANXIETY, UNCOMFORTABLENESS, REJECTION FOR OTHERS OR FOR OUR SELVES, WEAKNESS, WORRY, INABILITY, CONFUSION, FEAR, DEPRESSION, DENIAL, SHOCK, HYSTERIA, PANIC, PARALYSIS, ANGER, HATE, AGGRESSIVNESS, VIOLENCE ETC.

Some of the more common fears are:

YOUR DEATH
SUDDEN DEATH BY ACCIDENT
DEATH OF A LOVED ONE
ILLNESS
BEING PARALYSED
GROWING OLD
WAR
EARTHQUAKES
SNAKES, RATS, MICE, COCKROACHES
DOGS, CATS
FAILURE AT WORK, IN RELATIONSHIPS, AT SCHOOL, AT LIFE
REJECTION FROM OTHERS
BEING LAUGHED AT BY OTHERS
CRITICISM
LONELINESS
FINANCIAL INSECURITY
OTHERS’ AGGRESSIVNESS
THE DARK
THE UNKNOWN
GOD OR HIS PUNISHMENT
LOOSING YOUR FREEDOM
LOOSING YOUR SELF WORTH
CONFLICTS WITH OTHERS
THE SEA, HEIGHTS, FIRES
CARS, PLANES, BOATS
ELEVATORS, SMALL PLACES
LARGE GATHERINGS OF PEOPLE
TO TRAVEL BY YOUR SELF
TO LOSE YOUR SANITY
TO BE REJECTED IN A LOVE RELATIONSHIP
THE OPPOSITE SEX
MICROBES AND DIRTY THINGS
OTHERS