Understanding Needs
We need to understand and communicate our needs. At the same time, it is important to be able to hear, and if possible, respond to the other’s needs.
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More Effective Communication with our Children no.4
ACTIVE LISTENING
Now the child himself obviously has a problem which is not allowing him or her to use his or her mental abilities to their full potential. The problem could have to do with conflicts within the family, conflicts with other children or with teachers at school, disappointments in love, lack of self-confidence, lack of proper nutrition, a disillusionment with society and the school system, as well as many other possibilities.
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Fear that He is Having an Affair (Life Story no. 3)
Wendy is sure that her husband Mark is having an affair. She has no concrete proof but she just knows it in her heart. She is afraid, disappointed and deeply hurt. She also feels rejected, demeaned, betrayed, and quite insecure, not to mention angry.
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Overcoming Obstacles to Communication
One of our main obstacles to loving and harmonious relationships is our inability to communicate effectively. I have seen many relationships between love partners, parents and children and siblings where there was mutual love, but many conflicts because of their inability to clearly express their needs, feelings and beliefs.
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More Effective Communication with our Children no.5
A CHILD WANTS TO GO TO THE MOVIES
A child keeps pleading to be taken to a movie, but has not cleaned up his room for several days, a job, which he agreed to do.
What might be an average type of communication? An average parent may call the child lazy, irresponsible and inconsiderate.
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Relationships and need conflicts: why your needs do not get met
The one greatest source of tension in relationships is our need-conflicts. When the other does not behave in a way, which allows our needs to be fulfilled, we develop negative feelings toward that person.
We perceive him or her as the cause of our unhappiness. We are controlled by our needs and our relationships suffer when we feel that they are not being fulfilled.
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Dealing with Romantic Rejection
One of our most devastating emotional experiences is the loss of a loved one.
I am addressing the loss of loved one to death and through “romantic rejection” as two separate situations. We will deal with the loss of a loved one to death in another article.
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More Effective Communication with our Children no.6
A NOTE FROM THE TEACHER
A twelve-year-old is sent home by a teacher with a note stating that he was speaking loudly, using “filthy” language. What might be the parents’ reaction?
One might be, “Come here and explain to me why you want to embarrass your parents with your filthy mouth”. Another would be to simply punish the child with no discussion. Another might be to degrade the child’s image of himself by criticizing him for his various mistakes and faults in general.
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She is an Interrogator and he is Aloof (Life Story no. 1)
Anna enjoys sharing her feelings with her husband Paul. She also needs to know what he is feeling and thinking in return. When she is unable to communicate with him, she feels neglected and unloved.
Although Paul does love Anna, he does not enjoy communicating as much as she does and feels very uncomfortable sharing his feelings, mostly because he is not very familiar with them. Also, when he is aware of his feelings, he is ashamed to share them because he fears this will lessen his “manhood”.
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Roles we play and what we believe which makes us play them
Here we supply you with a short list of roles or personas and their core beliefs. We have grouped the personas under various names. Perhaps, in some cases, only one or two of the names might be applicable.
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