ACTIVE LISTENING

Now the child himself obviously has a problem which is not allowing him or her to use his or her mental abilities to their full potential. The problem could have to do with conflicts within the family, conflicts with other children or with teachers at school, disappointments in love, lack of self-confidence, lack of proper nutrition, a disillusionment with society and the school system, as well as many other possibilities.
Continue reading “More Effective Communication with our Children no.4”

A CHILD WANTS TO GO TO THE MOVIES

A child keeps pleading to be taken to a movie, but has not cleaned up his room for several days, a job, which he agreed to do.

What might be an average type of communication? An average parent may call the child lazy, irresponsible and inconsiderate.
Continue reading “More Effective Communication with our Children no.5”

A NOTE FROM THE TEACHER

A twelve-year-old is sent home by a teacher with a note stating that he was speaking loudly, using “filthy” language. What might be the parents’ reaction?

One might be, “Come here and explain to me why you want to embarrass your parents with your filthy mouth”. Another would be to simply punish the child with no discussion. Another might be to degrade the child’s image of himself by criticizing him for his various mistakes and faults in general.
Continue reading “More Effective Communication with our Children no.6”

THE DAUGHTER ARRIVES HOME LATE

Although their daughter agreed to be home by 12 midnight, she arrives at 1.30 in the morning. The parents are extremely worried that something may have happened to her and are quite relieved when she finally gets home.

What kind of message might they give to the child? They might express their anger at her disobedience and reject her for being inconsiderate and irresponsible. They might threaten her and punish her with the hope that she will obey out of fear in the future.
Continue reading “More Effective Communication with our Children no.7”

A human being is pretty much formed and programmed in his or her concepts about himself or herself and the surrounding world by the age of eight. Most of the work, which is done today by psychologists and psychiatrists, is to solve the problems and fill the gaps left by the experiences of those earlier years. Wouldn’t it be better to pay more attention to how we bring up our children so that they can be stronger, more able, happier, more in harmony with themselves and their environment? The future of the world depends on our children. The quality of our children and their ability to create a better world depends on us, but not in the way most may think. Let us consider here how we can help our children and ourselves to find harmony, health and happiness.
Continue reading “Our Childrens’ Needs no.1”

SECURITY

Children need to feel secure. Few feel secure when there are conflicts occurring around them. Few can relax inwardly when others around them are shouting, accusing, criticizing and hating each other. To a small child, tension between parents, or between parents and the child or other children, constitute a deep chasm of insecurity.
Continue reading “Our Childrens’ Needs no.2”

AFFIRMATION

Everyone likes a pat on the back, recognition, strokes, praise or affirmation of his or her ability, goodness and worthiness. Our children have not yet formed images of themselves and need these positive inputs even more than adults. Children are not sure if they are able or not. They are small in such a large world. They are learning and thus making many mistakes as they try to learn how to do things correctly.
Continue reading “Our Childrens’ Needs no.3”

DO NOT WORRY

Worry is a direct message to our children that we do not feel secure, that we do not feel able to face the tests and difficulties of life. It is a direct message that we believe (and therefore it is true) that life is dangerous, that human beings (and therefore our children) are weak and helpless and very vulnerable to these dangers of life.
Continue reading “Our Childrens’ Needs no.4”

STIMULUS TO GROW

Children want to learn. They need to learn. Their survival and growth depend on it. All children are full of curiosity and would remain that way all their lives if that natural desire to learn was not turned off and, in many cases, completely destroyed by our present educational system and general social attitudes towards children. What are some of these factors which discourage the natural inclination of the child toward learning?
Continue reading “Our Childrens’ Needs no.5”

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

What can parents do about this situation? How can we provide a home environment that will stimulate the process of holistic learning for our children?
Continue reading “Our Childrens’ Needs no.6”