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Wendy is sure that her husband Mark is having an affair. She has no concrete proof but she just knows it in her heart. She is afraid, disappointed and deeply hurt. She also feels rejected, demeaned, betrayed, and quite insecure, not to mention angry.
Continue reading “Fear that He is Having an Affair (Life Story no. 3)”
One of our main obstacles to loving and harmonious relationships is our inability to communicate effectively. I have seen many relationships between love partners, parents and children and siblings where there was mutual love, but many conflicts because of their inability to clearly express their needs, feelings and beliefs.
Continue reading “Overcoming Obstacles to Communication”
A CHILD WANTS TO GO TO THE MOVIES
A child keeps pleading to be taken to a movie, but has not cleaned up his room for several days, a job, which he agreed to do.
What might be an average type of communication? An average parent may call the child lazy, irresponsible and inconsiderate.
Continue reading “More Effective Communication with our Children no.5”
The one greatest source of tension in relationships is our need-conflicts. When the other does not behave in a way, which allows our needs to be fulfilled, we develop negative feelings toward that person.
We perceive him or her as the cause of our unhappiness. We are controlled by our needs and our relationships suffer when we feel that they are not being fulfilled.
Continue reading “Relationships and need conflicts: why your needs do not get met”
One of our most devastating emotional experiences is the loss of a loved one.
I am addressing the loss of loved one to death and through “romantic rejection” as two separate situations. We will deal with the loss of a loved one to death in another article.
Continue reading “Dealing with Romantic Rejection”
A NOTE FROM THE TEACHER
A twelve-year-old is sent home by a teacher with a note stating that he was speaking loudly, using “filthy” language. What might be the parents’ reaction?
One might be, “Come here and explain to me why you want to embarrass your parents with your filthy mouth”. Another would be to simply punish the child with no discussion. Another might be to degrade the child’s image of himself by criticizing him for his various mistakes and faults in general.
Continue reading “More Effective Communication with our Children no.6”
Anna enjoys sharing her feelings with her husband Paul. She also needs to know what he is feeling and thinking in return. When she is unable to communicate with him, she feels neglected and unloved.
Although Paul does love Anna, he does not enjoy communicating as much as she does and feels very uncomfortable sharing his feelings, mostly because he is not very familiar with them. Also, when he is aware of his feelings, he is ashamed to share them because he fears this will lessen his “manhood”.
Continue reading “She is an Interrogator and he is Aloof (Life Story no. 1)”
Here we supply you with a short list of roles or personas and their core beliefs. We have grouped the personas under various names. Perhaps, in some cases, only one or two of the names might be applicable.
Continue reading “Roles we play and what we believe which makes us play them”
THE DAUGHTER ARRIVES HOME LATE
Although their daughter agreed to be home by 12 midnight, she arrives at 1.30 in the morning. The parents are extremely worried that something may have happened to her and are quite relieved when she finally gets home.
What kind of message might they give to the child? They might express their anger at her disobedience and reject her for being inconsiderate and irresponsible. They might threaten her and punish her with the hope that she will obey out of fear in the future.
Continue reading “More Effective Communication with our Children no.7”
John and Barbara have three children in junior and senior high school. Their house is the site of frequent battles concerning how much the children should study and what grades are acceptable.
Continue reading “Anxiety About Grades (Life Story no. 2)”