We suggest that you also read the previous and forthcoming sections of this series.
We can develop separateness from our fears and other emotions by objectifying the part of ourselves, which feels those emotions. This can done by:
a. Drawing how we imagine that part of our being to look.
b. Writing a letter to that part of our personality.
c. Engaging in a written or verbal dialogue with it.
d. Allowing this part of ourselves to express itself through dance.
In these ways, we are able to realize that we are not that part of ourselves, which is programmed to fear.
Function Parallel to It
Then we can function parallel to it. Even though one part of ourselves does not want to proceed out of fear, we can move forward in spite of those feelings.
This is called living parallel with the fear. We observe it, recognize it, and accept it, but function parallel to it, doing what we actually fear to do. This is also very much like behavioral therapy in which we gradually come into contact with the aspects in life that we fear most.
The following is a letter written by a young man at the age of 25 after occasional periods of residing in a clinic for mental health. He has understood his fear well and his letter will help us also understand ours.
A Letter Addressed To Fear
“I think I know quite a lot about you. With God’s help, I more or less came to understand how you were born and how later you became so huge that you broke up my existence.
“The seed that bore you may have come from previous lives, but you fell on fertile ground, found the right conditions and grew so as to threaten everything inside of me. The ambience within the family, traumatic experiences, and perhaps things still unknown to me and yet to come, all served as food for you.
“Now that you have gone into orbit and are so low in the sky that soon you will sink, I can see you as a huge piranha with innumerable black tentacles, an entity close to the form of death.
“I say that you are low in the sky because you still hold me captive, a prisoner. I know you originally came to protect me, but you hugged me dangerously tight, distorted my ideas, engendered violence and aggression, overfed my ego and almost destroyed me.
“You grew metastasis in every part of my being to such a degree that at the sound of your name alone I became terrified. I am afraid even when you are not there. In the end, like a ghost, you began to haunt me always and everywhere. In this ceaseless running you have imposed upon me, I have been running down many evil and dangerous roads.
“There is no doubt that if it weren’t for you, I would not be escaping to find new horizons. Although I have tasted death because of you and am still in pain, I thank you for chasing me. On the dark paths I had taken, I suddenly saw in the sky a star, like a flickering candle, which began to guide me and determine my life.
“As time goes by, slowly but steadily, and this star shines more brightly and make my progress surer, I want you to understand that this light is divine and will gradually illuminate every nook and cranny of my being, the places where you are now.
“So I thank you for bringing me so far to protect me. Now I don’t need you anymore. Go away. My real self is beginning to grow. That which fears nothing is strong and serene.
“As for you, the dwellings you find and the reality in which you flourish are all nothing but delusion.
“I thank God that, with His help, I dare to face you. With the ever- increasing light I shall beam onto you, you will begin to disappear, seeking another dark place in the shadows.
“I am already certain that you are low in the sky and someday will no longer exist. ”
This letter teaches some important points about fear and coming to terms with it.
a. The writer speaks of coming to understand how this fear was born in his mind. In this way, he objectifies it and can then perceive it as something separate from himself, which was programmed into him at some particular moment.
b. He gives it a form, a “huge piranha.” This also facilitates objectifying and distancing it.
c. He understands that at first the fear was a protective mechanism, but it then got out of control.
d. He realizes now that he does not need it for protection, that he can find healthier forms of protection.
e. He also realizes he can heal this part of himself by sending love and light, for fear can exist only in darkness, ignorance and a lack of love.
(Adapted from the “The Psychology of Happiness” by Robert Najemy available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html. This book and other writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.)