Overcoming Fear (part 4): Facing our Fears

As human beings in the process of evolution, it is imperative that we overcome the bondage of fear so we may experience the security, peace, love, courage, faith, wisdom, understanding and fulfillment which we desire, deserve and which is our destiny. Fear binds us to a lower level of consciousness with less love and happiness.

Actual Contact

One way to overcome a fear is to gradually approach that being, object or situation in gradual but increasing doses. We will, in this way, by experience, learn that in reality it is harmless to us. Fear of the sea could be gradually overcome by immersing our bodies, allowing the water to come up to our ankles, knees and so on over a period of time. Fear of heights can be eventually conquered through exposure to gradually increasing heights.

This technique can be used with the fear of any real object or situation. The important factor to remember is to make the right dosage of contact. We should start slowly and bring ourselves just to the threshold of fear, just where fear begins and where we can still observe and work with the fear through breathing and relaxation.

Later, the experience can be repeated, this time increasing contact with that which is feared, playing with our limits, and learning to relax while in contact. We can relax by breathing slowly and deeply while reminding ourselves of the truth that we are not actually in danger, but that our mind is being controlled by some false conditioning, probably from some past experience.

At the moment we begin to feel fear, we can begin to breathe more slowly and deeply, while concentrating on relaxing the body and mind. We will notice that certain muscles begin to tense up. We can relax these muscles with the help of the breath and mental messages of relaxation.

We may remember thoughts that help us to feel more secure or bring to mind any frame of reference that allows us to feel security and protection, such as God, or various spiritual or logical truths. We can remind ourselves that our imagination is being exploited by our unfounded fears and that the danger we feel is not real.

Mental Contact

Contact with the feared can also be made through the subconscious mind and the imagination. Through methods of relaxation, self-hypnosis, mind control, and positive projection techniques, we can imagine having contact with the feared.

When we imagine ourselves in contact with the feared object or situation, we might find that we experience the same types of emotional and physical reactions as we do when actually in contact. We can then visualize alternative ways of feeling and reacting to that previously feared situation.

If we have feared certain animals, insects, or even certain types of people, we can imagine ourselves as feeling safe, secure and peaceful while in contact with them. We can imagine ourselves feeling safe, self-confident and courageous.

Such reprogramming of the subconscious mind will eventually alter our reactive mechanisms to life. Those who are already experienced in such techniques can do such reprogramming sessions alone, but some will need guidance in getting started.

Those, who choose to, can even imagine accepting (not desiring, but accepting) death. We can eventually reprogram ourselves to believe in our indestructible soul nature, thus removing all fear at the root.

There are three approaches here.

a. Some prefer to project that nothing unpleasant will ever happen to them. This is useful and will, to a large extent, send out positive energies to our environment, creating a positive reality. Of course, we will all eventually die and all lose our loved ones at some point. No amount of projection will prevent this.

b. Others choose to imagine all in God’s light and leave the specifics of what will happen to some higher and wiser power, such as God.

The first technique is an active projection of what we want to happen and the second is a passive acceptance of whatever is best.

c. A third possibility would be to project what we prefer in each situation and then offer it to God, placing it in light and completing our “prayer” with the thought, “May the Highest Good for all occur in this situation.”

“Energy Meridian Based Psychology” = EMDR – TFT – EFT

These initials stand for the latest techniques for freeing ourselves from unwanted emotions. These will be explained in greater detail in future articles. Let is suffice to say that:

1. EMDR Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (Francine Shapiro) needs to be applied by an experienced EMDR practitioner who will enable us to come into contact with the traumatic event which is causing our fear, pain, guilt, self-rejection or other negative emotion. After doing so, the memory will be discharged and then reinterpreted as we introduce the logic or truth we chose into this previously traumatic memory, thus healing us of this problem.

2. TFT or Thought Field Therapy (Dr. Roger Callahan) deals with the specific energy field which is generated by each thought and allows us to heal this energy field, thus removing the cause of that specific emotion. Thus we focus on what we fear and then tap on specific acupuncture points in order redistribute that energy field and thus collapsing the energy disruption (identified with that thought) which was creating the emotion. This, too, often requires an experienced practitioner

3. EFT of Emotional Freedom Therapy (Gary Craig) is a simplified version of TFT, which we can employ on ourselves. We bring to mind whatever causes our negative emotion (such as fear or anxiety) and then tap on specific points in order to correct that disruption in the energy field, which creates the emotion. The thought creates the energy field and the energy field creates the emotion. If we correct the energy field the emotion disappears.

In my 35 years of counseling, I have found no techniques more effective than these. You can change your life through them. As EFT allows us to help ourselves, I am supplying you with an address for that http://www.emofree.com


(Adapted from the “The Psychology of Happiness” by Robert Najemy available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html. This book and other writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.)

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