We suggest that you also read the parts previous and following to this.
As children we tend to make many false conclusions about reality, usually burdening ourselves with the responsibility for everything including our parents? anger, absence, abandonment, unhappiness, illness, separation, death etc.
We tend to conclude that there is something wrong with us and that we do not good and do not deserve the health, happiness, love and attention we need.
Possible Mistaken Childhood Conclusions
Please make a mark next to beliefs or feelings which you have observed in yourself, so that you can work on them in the next stage.
Some possible false beliefs might be:
1. I must be like the others in order for them to accept me.
2. If they do not love and accept me, I am not safe.
3. If others do not accept me, I am not worthy.
4. I must be “right” in order to be worthy and for them to love me.
5. I must be perfect in order for others to accept me and love me.
6. I must be better than others in order to be worthy.
7. I must have _____________ in order to be safe.
8. I must have _____ in order to worthy.
9. I must achieve ________in order to be worthy.
10. I must be loved and accepted by those close to me in order to be happy.
11. In order to feel worthy I must be able and successful.
12. My happiness is not in my own hands. I am the victim of external factors.
13. My self-worth is dependent on:
a. What others think of me.
b. The results of my efforts.
c. My appearance
d. My money and fortune.
e. My knowledge
f. How I compare to others.
g. If I am married.
h. My professional position.
i. Other __________
14. I am safe only if I have:
a. A spouse
c. Specific persons in my life
d. The others? approval
e. Other ________
15. I am responsible for the others? reality, (Their health safety, happiness, success, and satisfaction
16. Others are responsible for my reality and how I feel.
17. I am not a good person.
18. I?m unworthy, no matter what I do.
19. I?m unworthy when I?m scolded, rejected, accused or when others are angry at me.
20. I?m in danger when others are angry at me, when they scold, accuse or reject me.
21. People don?t love me.
22. I?m responsible for the others? misery.
23. I?m alone in life.
24. I am unprotected, vulnerable, in danger.
25. No one wants to be with me.
26. I?m not worthy of a permanent, steady relationship – I will be abandoned.
27. There is no steady support, friendship, love in this world, or, if there is, I cannot have it or I am not worthy of it.
28. I am unworthy of affection, tenderness or expression of love.
29. I am and will be treated unjustly. There is no justice.
30. I cannot have what I want or what I need.
31. I must not ask for what I want.
32. The human body is weak and vulnerable to illness and pain.
33. It?s my fault when someone close to me is ill.
34. I have no right to be happy or in a good mood when others are sick.
35. Illness shows weakness and I must not get sick so as not to show weakness.
36. My self-worth is measured in relation to how I compare with others.
37. Others accept me and want me only if they believe me to be strong and superior.
38. Others don?t love me enough to stay with me.
39. I cannot trust men (women).
40. Those of the opposite sex want me only for my body.
41. Sex is violence.
42. The sexual act is violent and causes pain.
43. The sexual act is dirty and brutal.
44. I must definitely repay others what they have given me.
45. I don?t want to receive anything from anyone because then I?ll be indebted to them. I will not be free.
46. I am always obligated to others no matter what I do.
47. I must sacrifice what I believe in and want, in order to satisfy my parents (or others).
48. The others are obliged to me for what I do for them.
49. I ?m guilty (responsible) for the others? reality (for their health, peace, success etc.
50. I have no right to be well, happy, in a good mood or to rest when others have problems or are not well.
51. Others are responsible for my unhappiness, illness, failure.
52. I must save others and the world. People are incapable of doing it themselves.
53. Others don?t know, they must listen to me. I must solve their problems.
54. I cannot have confidence in others to do things because they might make mistakes.
55. If I don?t do it, no one will.
56. I am treated unjustly because I always help and sacrifice myself for others, but they don?t help me when I need help.
57. I must be always strong, must never show weakness or ask for help
58. I am incapable.
59. I?m not intelligent.
60. I will be unable to succeed in my purpose.
61. I am bad, dirty and guilty because I have sexual drives, feelings or needs.
62. I am unworthy of God?s love.
63. I am a sinner, and God does not love me.
64. God will punish me in life. Bad things will definitely happen.
65. Things cannot be always pleasant.
66. Teachers and people of authority want to oppress me, to make me feel inferior, hurt me.
67. I am in danger of being controlled by those in positions of power.
68. We must fight authority.
69. Others will laugh at me, make fun of me.
70. Others cannot be trusted.
List here other beliefs not mentioned above ____
Having made a list of beliefs which you have observed in your mental functioning, you can now move on to part 3.