Occasionally we are confronted by persons who play the role of the interrogator. Basic to dealing with “interrogators” is to understand why they function in this way and how we are affected by their attitude. It is also entirely possible that, at times, we too play this role.
Continue reading “Dealing with Interrogators”

We need to understand and communicate our needs. At the same time, it is important to be able to hear, and if possible, respond to the other’s needs.
Continue reading “Understanding Needs”

Wendy is sure that her husband Mark is having an affair. She has no concrete proof but she just knows it in her heart. She is afraid, disappointed and deeply hurt. She also feels rejected, demeaned, betrayed, and quite insecure, not to mention angry.
Continue reading “Fear that He is Having an Affair (Life Story no. 3)”

One of our main obstacles to loving and harmonious relationships is our inability to communicate effectively. I have seen many relationships between love partners, parents and children and siblings where there was mutual love, but many conflicts because of their inability to clearly express their needs, feelings and beliefs.
Continue reading “Overcoming Obstacles to Communication”

The one greatest source of tension in relationships is our need-conflicts. When the other does not behave in a way, which allows our needs to be fulfilled, we develop negative feelings toward that person.

We perceive him or her as the cause of our unhappiness. We are controlled by our needs and our relationships suffer when we feel that they are not being fulfilled.
Continue reading “Relationships and need conflicts: why your needs do not get met”

One of our most devastating emotional experiences is the loss of a loved one.

I am addressing the loss of loved one to death and through “romantic rejection” as two separate situations. We will deal with the loss of a loved one to death in another article.
Continue reading “Dealing with Romantic Rejection”

Anna enjoys sharing her feelings with her husband Paul. She also needs to know what he is feeling and thinking in return. When she is unable to communicate with him, she feels neglected and unloved.

Although Paul does love Anna, he does not enjoy communicating as much as she does and feels very uncomfortable sharing his feelings, mostly because he is not very familiar with them. Also, when he is aware of his feelings, he is ashamed to share them because he fears this will lessen his “manhood”.
Continue reading “She is an Interrogator and he is Aloof (Life Story no. 1)”

Here we supply you with a short list of roles or personas and their core beliefs. We have grouped the personas under various names. Perhaps, in some cases, only one or two of the names might be applicable.
Continue reading “Roles we play and what we believe which makes us play them”

John and Barbara have three children in junior and senior high school. Their house is the site of frequent battles concerning how much the children should study and what grades are acceptable.
Continue reading “Anxiety About Grades (Life Story no. 2)”

WHAT HAPPENED?

We were so suited for each other, so in love, so happy together. We had so many dreams. Our first moments together were full of joy, happiness and the excitement of being close to someone who loved us and understood us. We were so sure that we would live “happily ever after”. We never thought that we would arrive to this state of lack of communication, misunderstanding, distancing, indifference and even competition, aggressiveness and verbal violence. What happened? How did this happen? What can we do so as to be loving again as we were?
Continue reading “Basic Relationship Problems”