The names of course have been altered, except in cases were we indicate that this is the real name.
Some, but not all, of these people are also involved in our self-knowledge seminars and psychology discussion groups. Many of their problems had been solved through those seminars and we are now working on what has remained.
I will not mention the complete set up phrases, but only the subject of each round.
In all of the cases people tapped for themselves at first so that they would learn and integrate the process. In some of the cases I then continued to tap for them for greater efficiency and economy of time, using at times the short cuts (or algorithms as he calls them) discovered by Dr. Callahan.
8. Inability to eat
Beth was unable to eat. As we worked on this problem with, “Even though I fear eating, I deeply and profoundly love myself”, the following aspects came to the surface:
a. Fear of mother?s anger and suppression (she would force her to eat and drink milk).
b. Pain of seeing her mother hit her sister on the head with shoe and blood squirting out of her sister?s head.
c. Pain because her father told her that she was not their child, but was left by the gypsies.
d. Anger at her mother for what she had done
During that first session we worked with all of these, bringing them all down to a SUD of three. I asked her to keep a diary of her feelings and write down any childhood memories, which came to the surface.
A week later she was much improved and we made some tests on the previous aspects. The following new aspects came up:
e. Fear when hearing her mother shrieking when she (the mother) was hitting her sister on the head.
f. Fear of not being able to handle, manage or cope with life.
g. Inability (fear) to express herself.
We worked on these bringing them all down to 0 or 1.
Then I asked her to express herself to her mother in a form of psychodrama, telling her what she felt and what she needed as a child.
We worked with whatever came up during the psychodrama.
She is now much better and eating normally. She still has many other issues to work with, but has temporarily moved to another location. I received a telephone message on my answering machine after a month, in which she informed me that she had to leave, but that her eating was much better.
9. Fear of Cancer
Jane had a fear of cancer:
a. As we worked on “Even though I fear dying of cancer, I deeply and profoundly love myself,” she came up with the following realization.
As her SUD came down, she realized that her father had not allowed her to see her aunt when her aunt was dying of cancer.
b. When we worked on her feeling of rejection at being prohibited from seeing her ill aunt when she was a child, her fear of cancer disappeared.
I am not sure if I really understood this connection, but it worked. (Perhaps she felt some guilt about not being able to see her aunt?) We never investigated this further.
10. Back pain, insomnia, depression, guilt, anger and panic attacks.
Anna experienced excruciating back pain and was able to sleep only 1.5 hours a night.
She was also very angry with her first husband for cheating on her, and was now unable to be sexually open to her second husband. She felt depressed and tried to commit suicide after about 5 years of her first marriage. She also had frequent panic attacks especially when going to sleep at night.
For our first session we started with her lower back (she had a cyst in a slipped disc) and leg pain. This brought up
a. Anger at being betrayed by her previous husband.
b. Pain because of his betrayal.
c. Resistance towards being approached sexually by her present husband.
All were brought down to 0 or 1.
That night she slept for about 12 hours and felt no depression the next day. She was also able to accept her present husband more lovingly. She had a clearer mind and did not need to take her sleeping pill to sleep as she usually did.
In our next session she learned how to bring the physical pain in her lower back down to zero by herself. When she did this it would disappear for about 20 minutes and then come back. (She has an actual problem there.) Even though she got relief from the EFT, she did it only a few times a week, which caused us to believe that there must be some type of reversal which is preventing her from employing EFT to her own benefit.
I asked her to imagine herself doing EFT 10 times a day for the physical pain and 3 times a day for various past traumas, which were coming up in the discussion.
d. When she rubbed the sore spot and repeated “even though I feel resistance to employing this technique regularly for my own benefit,” she stopped and started crying and then shared with me that when she divorced her ex-husband, she was unable to take custody of their son. She then described her son?s present problems which, were really worrying her.
It became obvious that part of the resistance had to do with guilt about not being able to care for her son then and also for trying to commit suicide in front of him. (She had this image of him as a small child watching her as she tried to commit suicide.)
She shared these events with me for about ten minutes (without any tapping) and then I asked her how her lower back was. It had descended from a 10 to a 2 just by airing these feelings. She then understood the role of her thoughts and feelings in increasing this pain. But the fact was, however, that she did have a serious physical problem in her lower back.
e. We went on to tap for the guilt about leaving her child with his father and brought it from a 5 to 0.
f. Then we went on to work on the guilt for attempting suicide, which also moved from 8 to 1.
g. Then we tapped for the back pain, which was almost gone and brought it down to 0.
I asked her to employ EFT 5 to 10 times a day for her lower back and work on each specific childhood experience separately so as to remove their emotional charge.
Some of the experiences were:
Ί Her father was very violent, beating her brother and their farm animals and also killing cats, kittens and mice.
Ί He rejected her constantly.
Ί When her mother found out that she had a relationship at the age of 16, she told her that it would be better if she (Anna) died so that her mother could have peace.
She now needed to work on each of these traumas and thus remove the general tension in the subconscious and energy field, nervous system and muscles, which were adding to the back pain problem.
About a month later we worked again on her feelings of:
1. Guilt for having tried to commit suicide in front of her child.
2. The symptoms, which she felt when she was committing suicide, such as coldness in the limbs, dizziness, weakness and fear of death.
3. The panic attacks which were much less but still occasionally there.
As we were working on these three issues, which seemed all related to that one suicide attempt experience, her symptoms of coldness and weakness appeared in her body.
We worked directly on these symptoms until her feelings about them dropped to zero and then the symptoms disappeared. This is very common. We actually feed our symptoms when we fear and do not accept them. When we accept them, they recede.
We worked a little more bringing all the aspects down to zero as she focused her son in front of her as she made the suicide attempt and the physical symptoms, which she had then.
She left ten emotional pounds lighter, but still had issues to work with.
11. Guilt about son?s cancer
Gina, a pediatrician, felt guilt about her son?s serious skin cancer because she felt that, as a doctor, she should have seen it coming and taken corrective actions much earlier.
a. When we started her guilt was 10.
b. She also felt sorrow for her son.
We tapped for the guilt and when it came down to about a 5 and then I asked if there was any other feeling. She answered, pain and sorrow for her son. We worked on this, which then brought up:
c. Pain and abandonment from God for not helping her to discover this earlier.
She then had a memory, which she believes is from a past life in which she threw a child into a river causing its death. And now she believes she deserves what is happening for this reason.
d. We worked on the guilt of “having thrown a child in the river”
(So now we have EFT for past life emotions. Even if it is not true, it exists in her mind and needs to be dealt with)
e. When this also came down, I asked her what she was feeling and she answered, “I feel like I am trying to get into a circle but cannot.”
I intuitively asked her, “Do you miss feeling guilty?”
She answered, “Yes”
This guilt had been a part of her life and now she was looking for it.
f. So we tapped for the “need to feel guilty.”
This is an important form of resistance towards freeing ourselves from emotions and it needs to be addressed. We become addicted to emotions such as fear, guilt, anger, injustice and pain.
I actually hypothesize that each of these emotions creates a specific hormonal ? chemical – energy state, which becomes a habit or addiction and when we do not get our dose, we seek to create the circumstances to feel that familiar feeling.
We all know people who seem to looking to be rejected or hurt and will find any reason to be so. Others may need their weekly, weekend or monthly “dose” of conflict, anger or suffering.
We describe how to work with these forms of resistance in other chapters.
The next time I saw Gina, although she was still sad about her son, she was free from the guilt.
I usually ask people to support their new state by asking, “why do you not feeling guilty”, just to check to see if an insight or realization has been made.
Her answer was, “This was my state of evolution. It was all that I could do.”
She had realized and accepted this simple truth which we all logically know, but cannot experience because of our disturbed energy fields.
11. Fear of public speaking
Lena had an intense fear of public speaking.
We began to work on this “even though I fear speaking in front of others…”
She was immediately transported back to an event in her childhood where she about 8 years old in front of her class, and her mother (who was present) asked that she recite a poem in front of the class. Her mother was very proud of her daughter and of course herself for having such a special daughter.
She would repeatedly say to Lena, you are special, you are not like the others, creating in her great pressure to be special, better and consequently separate from the others. This caused Lena to feel quite lonely. She could not be just “one of the group”. The result in that childhood experience was that she actually refused to speak in front of the class and disappointed her mother.
These experiences create pressure on her today to be perfect, particularly when she is speaking in front of others. She is a lawyer.
We worked on the following aspects, which came up one by one:
a. Fear of speaking in front of others.
b. Shame for not satisfying them (especially her mother).
c. Anger with her mother.
d. Anger with herself.
e. Feeling others as antagonistic when she is speaking in front of them.
f. The need to please them and fear of not being able to do so.
g. Guilt because of disappointing them.
h. Suppression because of feeling that she has to satisfy them.
We can see here how a supposedly positive affirmation can create serious problems, when it is interpreted to mean that the child will be worthy of acceptance and love only if he or she always fulfills these prerequisites.
Some examples might be:
a. Message: You are special – different – better.
Resulting belief: I must always be special, different and better in order to be worthy of love and acceptance.
b. Message: You are the prettiest.
Resulting belief: I must be prettier than the others in order to be worthy of love and acceptance.
c. Message: You are the smartest.
Resulting belief: I must know more than the others in order to be loved and accepted.
The problem with such messages is that they create the idea that we are loved under certain conditions and also that we must compete with others for those conditions.
At our second meeting, we continued with the public speaking problem, which seemed to still be there, addressing the following aspects.
a. Fear of leading people to wrong conclusions with what I tell them.
b. Fear of their opinion of me as I speak.
c. Fear that they will not understand what I have to say.
d. Feelings of separateness – loneliness.
After one month we spoken about this last feeling of separateness from others, which she explained was about 3 or 4. This was not something negative, but something which allowed her to find her center more easily and spend her time more creatively. She had no negative feelings about feeling different and separate.
12. Guilt, pain and rejection towards homosexual and drug-using son.
Martha?s son is involved with drugs and his sexual preference is homosexuality. He ended up in jail for about six months.
We worked on the following feelings concerning this issue:
a. Guilt that she was in some way responsible for his reality.
This went from 10 to 5 and then to a zero.
b. Injustice that this should happen to her.
This started at 10 and came to zero.
c. Pain in her chest in the area of the heart.
This started at 9 and fell to zero.
d. Rejection towards him and his lifestyle choices.
This started at 10 and fell after a number of rounds to zero.
e. I then asked her to check the guilt again and it had gone up to 3 so we tapped again for that and it came again to zero.
In the end I asked her, why she accepts him now when ten minutes earlier had rejected him with a SUD of 10.
She answered simply, “because I love him.”
This is so common with EFT. Our emotional disturbances are covering our deeper wisdom and love. When they are removed, we experience our true selves.
Why would the guilt come up again? My theory is that we have a basic belief that “someone must be to blame”. Thus as long as she was rejecting him, she was hiding some portion of her own feelings of responsibility. When her rejection towards him was removed, the remaining guilt, which was hidden behind her rejecting him, came to the surface, but was easily removed.
This is an interesting phenomenon. We seem to solve problems by blaming or rejecting others. Having done so, we can “relax”.
I once experienced this very clearly. Some students who left our center began to spread the most horrible and obscene lies about me.
This hurt me, as I loved them and they were still in my heart. After a few months of this ordeal, a friend of mine said to me, “You are in pain, because you do not believe in evil. These people are evil.”
In my next meditation, I allowed myself to try out the thought, “They are evil”. I felt an immediate relaxation and realized how most of us solve our problems. We no longer feel hurt; we have nothing to examine in our lives, nothing to change. Very convenient. No evolution is necessary on our part, because all the blame is on the others.
I immediately realized that this is not the way I wanted to deal with this and found peace in my faith, that I am the sole creator of my reality and that all others are simply giving me the lessons I need in order to grow spiritually.
In this case I needed to learn:
* Not to care what others think of me.
* To forgive and love those who were spreading these lies.
Another belief, which causes us to reject others, is, “there must be only one right way and all other perceptions are wrong.” If the other is right, then I am must be wrong. Thus, I have the need to believe that the other wrong, so I can be right.
We have difficulty realizing that we are all in an evolutionary process and each person is growing through his specific experiences and experiments with life.
This is also true of our belief that someone has to be to blame for something that has gone wrong. Another perception would be that what is happening is exactly what we need for our evolutionary process.
In Martha?s case, she needed to free herself from the belief that she is guilty and also that her son is wrong.
13. Pain for son in jail and sister?s rejection and greed
Louise?s son has been in jail for the last eight years on drug charges. He broke out once and was caught and his sentence was increased.
She had suffered much all these years. She was still suffering when she came to the appointment. She had overcome her feelings of guilt and responsibility, but not the pain of seeing her son in prison.
a. We worked on the pain she felt for her son in prison. It came down slowly 10 to 9 to 8 to 6 to 3 to zero.
I asked her why she did not feel any more pain.
She answered, “It seems that as a soul, he has chosen to have these experiences.”
Louise had another problem. Her sister refused to share their family inheritance. In order to avoid fighting, Lousy gave in and gave it all to her.
b. We worked with her pain. This also moved slowly from 10 to 8 to 6to 3 to zero.
c. Then we worked on her feeling rejected by her sister. This went from 10 to 2 to zero.
She was glowing when she left. Two great burdens had been lifted.
Thank God for EFT.
We spoke four weeks later and she was still very well on both issues, even though she had contact with both her son and her sister. She no longer had any of those emotions we worked on.
She mentioned to me that she really could not understand how easy it was to free herself from those feelings.
14. Fear of driving, anger and guilt
Amalia was afraid to drive a car. She had obtained a license, but had not ever had the courage to actually drive.
We worked on the following aspects:
a. Shame that she cannot drive.
b. Fear that she does not know how to drive.
c. Fear of doing damage to others with the car
d. Fear of hitting someone with the car.
At this point she remembered that her brother had been killed in a car crash. Her feelings changed, and we worked on:
e. The pain of losing of her brother.
f. Anger at her brother, because of the way he treated her.
g. Anger with her father, because he never protected her from her brother.
h. Guilt because she felt released by her brother?s death.
All of the above were brought down to one. There seemed to be some remaining aspect, which needed to be dealt with.
A week later, she drove the family car. There may be more work to do, but she drove for the first time in fifteen years.
I believe that Amalia?s fear of doing damage to others is in someway related to her guilt for feeling relieved with her brother?s death. She had wished him to die when he was torturing her. Ordinarily we would suppose that she would fear that she would have to die in the same way of she was feeling guilt. But she says her fear is of doing damage to others, not herself. I am not sure of how she has made this connection, but this is what has come forth
15. Fear of losing a child by death.
All of her life, Marina feared losing a child, and specifically her youngest of two boys.
She had lost her father and brother when they were executed in their village, by the Germans during their occupation of Greece in the Second World War.
We worked on the following aspects as they appeared:
a. Fear of death of her youngest child. (We decided to make it as specific as possible)
b. Pain of the loss of her father who was killed.
c. Pain of loss of her brother who was killed.
d. Fear of danger as a child without her father?s protection.
e. Rejection from society because she did not have a father.
f. Sadness because of all that she has lost in life because of this.
After working on bringing all these aspects down, we returned to the original issue of the fear of the death of either of her children and it had become zero.
I spoke with her two months later. She said there might be a 10% remaining problem but that she is 90% better with this one session.
16. Fear of death
Miriam?s fear of death frequently bothered her.
In a seminar with 30 participants she was one of two who, after tapping with the group, was unable to come down satisfactorily.
She still had a fear of death with a SUD of 8.
a. She came up to the front of the room and we did two rounds. It came down only to 6.
Intuitively suspecting some other issue was involved, I asked her, “are you having any other feelings or thoughts at this time.”
She immediately responded, “Actually I am more afraid of leaving my two little children alone here if I die.”
b. We then worked on her fear of leaving her children if she left her body.
This came down to a zero in two rounds.
We then returned to the fear of death and she could not find it.
This is very common. We need to be intuitively aware of other issues when the SUD is not coming down.
17. “Black barrier” in chest which prevents joy
Susan had a “black barrier in her chest” which did not allow her to feel joy.
We did one round for this “black barrier in my chest.”
She then cried for about 5 minutes for the loss of her mother, when she was seven years old. Until that time, she had never cried about this loss.
She walked away without the “black barrier”.
18. Fear of wife?s anger and results on the family
John feared his wife?s angry outbursts. He had cheated on her a few years ago, and she has not yet overcome her pain and anger and she frequently explode in anger. They have one adolescent boy.
We worked on the following aspects:
a. Fear for what will happen to the family if this continues.
b. Feeling rejected by his wife.
c. Doubt about himself as a person.
d. Fear and uncertainty about the future, if his wife doesn?t overcome her anger.
All of these came to zero. He walked away without these feelings, but not seeming to realize what had happened. (There was no time to explain to him what we were doing.)
19. Knot in throat, anger, guilt and pain.
Donna had an annoying blockage in her throat. She was unsure about remaining with her husband who had left her and now wanted to return. She was also angry with herself, because she had made a decision to leave him, but did not.
a. We tapped first for her anger at her husband. This brought up other issues, which we then worked on.
b. Anger with her husband who because of his ramblings had brought into their bed an aphrodisiacal illnesses, which their two year old daughter, who sometimes slept with them, contracted.
c. Anger at her husband because he wasn?t working and bringing any money into the home.
This brought up:
d. Guilt for exposing her child to this horrible disease.
e. Shame because the doctors were wondering how the child could contract such a disease.
She had quite a crisis and cried for about ten minutes.
While working on each of these, we went back and forth between her emotions and the pain in the throat as a basic frame of reference for the disturbance.
It came down and disappeared.
She felt much better. But I have the feeling that there is more work to be done on other related issues.
20. Knot in throat, fear of death and guilt about drinking.
Susan also came with a knot in her throat. She also had a fear of death (after her father?s death) and considerable anxiety.
We went through the following aspects in this series:
a. Knot in the throat.
b. Tightness in jaws.
f. Pain in the head
g. Difficulty in Breathing
h. At this point even though she was feeling much better, she noticed a voice in the back of her mind – the doubt, “This cannot work for me, I cannot get better.”
We worked on this feeling and that brought us to:
i. Guilt about drinking (three glasses of wine a day)
j. Fear of dying, because of drinking
Then, we worked on her “addiction” to drinking and asked her to do EFT at home both for the need to drink and also for the guilt about drinking.
21. Anger and guilt for having “trapped” her husband with a lie.
Paula had simultaneous feelings of anger and guilt towards her husband. She had been suppressing a secret for 35 years. She had told him she was pregnant so that he would marry her when in fact she was not pregnant.
Now she had very confused feelings. She had a depression and was taking pills for that and also to help her sleep for the last three years.
a. We began with guilt for saying she was pregnant, when she was actually not. That went from five to zero in a few rounds.
b. Disappointment in him and the way he deals with life. From five to zero.
c. Anger with him. Five to zero.
d. Melancholy – slight depression. Eight to zero.
e. Something else, which she was unable to explain what it was, other than it was centered in her chest area went from ten to three.
Our time ran out.
I saw here a month later. She was totally free from the depression and had not taken her pills since the day of our meeting. She said that she simply forgot to taken them. She was feeling much better about her husband. All this was the result of one hour?s work.
We do not suggest that you stop taking any medication without permission from your doctor, psychologist or psychotherapist.